A Love & Hate Relationship With Spring
by WhosJeebus
Summary: Joey Wheeler seems to have no shortage of reasons to hate the season of flowers, butterflies, and rebirth. Can someone unexpected give him a reason to enjoy it as well? A Seto x Joey FIC!
1. Chapter 1 Allergies

Title: A Love / Hate Relationship With Spring - Chapter 1?

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Seto/Joey

Beta: Jennie B. (She's a saint, I tell ya! A bloody saint!)

Spoilers: Don't think so, no. At least, not in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, although for all the money I've spent on it, I could probably own a controlling percentage of the stock...So you corporate fatcats don't sue me and I'll keep buying your stuff, deal?

Summary: Joey Wheeler has no shortage of reasons to hate the season of flowers, butterflies, and rebirth. Can someone unexpected give him a reason to enjoy it as well?

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Something felt wrong. Very wrong.

Joey turned his face to the side and hesitantly cracked open one eye.

"Gahhh!" he exclaimed hoarsely as a piercing bright white light penetrated his groggy brain. Turning his face back into his warm, if slightly damp, pillow he groaned and wished away the glowing yellow ball forcing its way through the crooked blinds adorning his one and only bedroom window.

"Fucking daylight savings time..."

Blindly, he reached an arm out from inside his cozy cocoon of blankets and flailed at the offending window covering. The blinds managed to block the majority of offensive sunlight, but were hanging just askew enough to allow a single, irritating ray to strike him full in the face. Unfortunately, Joey's window blinds were no strangers to his frequent abuse and today's efforts were the final straw. As Joey scrunched himself closer to the edge of the bed preparing for one final vindictive swing at his enemy, the bracket above the window gave way on its own and Joey's bedroom was flooded with glorious spring sunshine.

"Ah hell."

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After that, Joey's Saturday morning only went downhill. Finally deciding the best offense was a good defense, Joey retreated under the covers, pillow and all, and had just achieved the nirvana of peaceful slumber when a harsh jangling sound accompanied by an equally harsh, yet familiar, voice called,

"Jooooeeeeyyyy! Are you up yet? It's almost noon! Wakey wakey!"

Joey indulged a brief fantasy in which he banished his best friend to the shadow realm before answering sulkily, "Go ' way Yug! ' M sleepin' here!"

The sound of booted footsteps paused outside his bedroom door. "If you didn't wish for me to come over unannounced, then you probably shouldn't have had a key made for me," came Yami's amused voice. "Now get out of bed and get dressed; we're going to meet Tristan and Tea at the park in half an hour. That dreadful month-long monstrosity you people call "March" is over with, and I want to enjoy the sunshine while it lasts."

Realizing that Yugi wasn't going to do the decent, compassionate thing and leave him alone, Joey grunted, "I hate spring. There's sunshine, and bugs, and pollen, and bugs. Besides, everyone and their grandma's gonna be at the park today. This is the first sunny day we've had in a week, and there'll be bratty kids everywhere. Trust me, the park's the last place you wanna be today." Joey raised his head and craned an ear toward the door, fervently praying his pleas would have the desired effect on the pharaoh.

"Joey, please get up and come with me. I want to go outside and enjoy the beautiful weather with my best friend. I didn't realize that was asking too much..."

Yugi's plaintive whine was starting to break through his defenses. He could feel the devastating effect of the sad, wide-eyed violet gaze all the way through the door and across the room. Joey rolled his eyes. He was starting to crumble...

"Stop rolling your eyes and get your sorry ass up," Yami grouched.

"Stop switchin' back and forth just to annoy me, and I might!" After several half-hearted attempts, Joey managed to kick his tangled bedcovers to the floor and, with considerable effort, levered himself up on his elbows to call "Alright, alright, I'm gettin' up! Y'don't have to stand outside the door all day y'know. C'mon in, I'm decent."

"That remains to be seen," replied Yami sardonically, and seconds later the door burst open to admit a blurry ball of dark leather and spiky hair. The ball landed forcefully on top of Joey, a small knee coming perilously close to slamming into his groin, which would have made his rotten Saturday morning infinitely worse. As it was, his bladder protested Yugi's treatment mightily.

"Oof! Oh man, get offa me; I really gotta pee!" With a frantic shove, a giggling Yugi was rolled off the end of the bed to land with a thud on the hardwood floor. Joey bolted straight for the bathroom door, his progress impeded a number of times from tripping over dirty laundry strewn about the room. As he rounded the corner headed for the bathroom, Joey's foot slipped on a discarded Duel Monsters magazine. His feet flew out from under him, and he landed on his tailbone with a spectacularly loud crash.

Joey quickly scrambled to his feet, tugged at his sliding boxer shorts, and disappeared around the corner not bothering to shut the bathroom door behind him. "Owwwww! Oh, that's SO gonna leave a bruise..."

"What's one more amongst the many?" Yami spoke darkly inside Yugi's head, his words accompanied by a mental image of his friend's cut and bruised body as he had witnessed it just moments ago. Yugi's sunny mood was dampened slightly by dwelling on the unavoidable facts of his best friend's home life, and although he usually affected not to notice for Joey's benefit, he opened his mouth and spoke deliberately, "Hey Joey, what was the name of that kid you said you rescued from that bunch of bullies the other day? I think he might be in my geometry class."

Joey's head appeared in the doorway, his brow wrinkling. "Huh? Oh, oh yeah. Nah, I don't think you know him; his name was uh, Lawrence something-or-other. He's a sophomore I think, so you probably wouldn't have any classes with him," Joey flashed a crooked grin at his friend and then ducked back into the bathroom. Various articles of clothing flew by the open doorway as Joey muttered to himself, searching for something clean to wear.

"That's funny, since just yesterday you told me the kid you bailed out was a freshman named Danny something-or-other. Do you think they could be brothers?" Yugi raised his eyebrows questioningly and waited.

The flurry of activity in the bathroom ceased suddenly and heavy silence ruled for the space of two heartbeats. Joey came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of faded jeans and sat down on the edge of the bed above Yugi.

Avoiding his friend's gaze, Joey stared down at his hands resting in his lap and took a deep breath. He raised his head and gazed sightlessly at the far wall. "Why you givin' me a hard time about this, Yug?" Joey turned his head slowly and peered down at Yugi from under tousled blond bangs, shoulders slumping. "My word not good enough for ya anymore?"

Yugi hadn't counted on the fact that his voicing aloud what everyone surrounding the blond already knew would have such a profound effect on his friend's demeanor. Belatedly, he realized that Joey's naive insistence that his friends were clueless about his situation was a defense mechanism that he used to protect himself.

"Protect himself from what?" Yugi mused, temporarily stunned into silence, "I only want to help."

"From your pity, Aibou," Yami countered gently, "He never wanted that, and you should honor his wishes in that regard. When he's ready, he'll ask for our help. Until then, be his friend and reassure him that he is also yours."

"I - I'm sorry Joey. I guess I was just confused for a minute. I must be thinking of something Tristan was telling me." Yugi knew he didn't sound the least bit convincing in his lie, but hoped it would be enough to put Joey's mind at ease. For now. He looked up with a reassuring smile plastered to his face, and was relieved to see it returned tentatively by Joey.

"Yeah Yug', you can be a real ditz sometimes." Yugi gave an indignant squawk, grabbed the nearest clothing article within reach, and hurled it full force into Joey's grinning face. Joey snatched it out of the air just before impact and continued taunting the smaller boy, "No offense and all, but everyone knows that Yami's the brains of this outfit. You're more like the...uh, mascot." Joey had the good grace to blush and look slightly apologetic before glancing down at his hands. "Oh hey, I was lookin' for this shirt!"

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After a bit more good natured teasing on both their parts, and a great deal more procrastinating on Joey's, the two teens made their way out of Joey's apartment building. After travelling several blocks in the warm spring sunshine, Joey's spirits were beginning to lift a little in spite of himself. At least, that is, until the sneezing started.

"Wah... wha... whu... hahhh...ah, ah, HA-CHOOOO!" Joey paused in his steps to press his forehead against the cool, red brick of the closest building, rubbing his nose and blinking furiously.

"Man, are you ok?" Tristan asked anxiously, jogging from across the street to join them.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good. Just stunned m'self. Damned allergies," Joey muttered, swiping the back of his hand across his tearing eyes.

"My mom hit a mailbox once."

Amused at Tristan's non sequitur, both Joey and Yugi looked at him expectantly, awaiting further explanation. "Huh? Oh, she uh, sneezed while she was driving. She ran off the road and flattened a mailbox. It was wicked funny."

The boys all laughed at the mental image of Tristan's prim and proper mother mowing down helpless mailboxes until Joey began experiencing an odd twitching sensation in his nose yet again. The small group paused outside the entrance to Domino City Park as Joey bent over slightly, resting his weight on his hands just above his knees and staring intently at the ground.

Tristan cupped his hands around his mouth and intoned to the world at large, "Look out, he's gonna blow!" Not raising his head, Joey retorted with a middle-fingered salute in Tristan's general direction.

Yugi furrowed his face and looked around briefly before spotting Tea just inside the gate and waving her over.

"Hey guys! Took you long enough to get here!" Tea admonished with a bright smile before turning her attention to Joey's predicament, "Um Joey, is everything alright?"

"Allergies," Yugi and Tristan informed her in unison. The word was spoken in such solemn tones, it was as if they were informing her Joey had only weeks to live.

Joey pinched the bridge of his nose and tried pressing his eyes tightly closed to clear his blurry vision. "You guys go on without me; I'll only slow you down. Go. Have fun frolicking or whatever the hell you crazy people do outside on sunny days. I'll stay here until my sinuses clear up."

"No! We're not leaving a man behind! You can make it, Joe! It's only a little bit farther!" Tristan energetically mimed, alternately karate-chopping, kicking and shooting unseen enemies as he yelled, pausing only to grab Joey around the waist from behind and twirl him around several times. "If we can just take the next hill, we'll be back in neutral territory! Just stay with me, man! We'll get you a med evac - dammit, don't you die on me!" Tristan set a dizzy Joey back down on his feet and leapt over a nearby hedge. "This way men!" He hit the dirt, popping his head above the greenery to gauge his startled friends' reactions.

While Yugi and Tea goggled at Tristan's outburst, Joey opened his mouth to either laugh or tell Tristan off; he wasn't sure which. But instead, he inhaled something evil and microscopic that made his nose and throat tickle warningly.

"Oh shit. Uhh...ahh...whoo..." Joey doubled over yet again, shaking his head frantically back and forth as if to deny what was about to happen. "Hahhh... hee..." The pressure was building agonizingly slowly; this eruption was going to make the previous one look dainty in comparison.

A pair of black boots adorned with buckles suddenly appeared on the sidewalk in Joey's line of vision. Still shaking his head in a futile effort to dislodge the sneeze, he heard a dreadfully familiar, snide voice above him sneer, "I think you losers had better get that mutt to a vet. It looks as if he's finally contracted rabies."

Joey had only a split-second in which to panic before he briefly lost all awareness of the world around him, "Hehh...ahhh...WAH-CHOOO!" The explosion caused his knees to give out from under him, and he was treated to the quick, yet immensely satisfying, image of those expensive boots thoroughly splattered with a variety of viscous fluids.

"Heh. I did that," Joey thought insanely before his brain shut down in the face of imminent collapse. Drained and relieved, he flopped over onto his side and gazed sheepishly up at the crowd gathered around him. His friends looked down at him in mute horror and he was almost certain he could see his own impending demise reflected back at him.

The two new arrivals, however, had totally different reactions to Joey's predicament. Mokuba, nearly eclipsed in his brother's looming shadow, was flat on his back laughing hysterically, sneakered feet kicking helplessly in sync with his loud, wheezing laughter.

Seto Kaiba, on the other hand, stood stock-still, gazing down at his boots with an almost confused expression sliding over his face. "The hell...?"

As Joey watched in a detached haze, Kaiba's face morphed into an expression of apoplectic rage as he turned his head to meet Joey's still-watering eyes. Kaiba's mouth opened and closed several times before finally forming the word "Mutt..." But that was all he got out. Moving like lightning, he reached down and grabbed the front of Joey's t-shirt with both hands. The hapless teen was hauled upright to face the enraged CEO eye-to-eye, his feet dangling several inches above the ground.

He was sure that this was exactly the kind of situation in which his life should be flashing before his eyes, but instead of taking this time to reflect on his past triumphs and regrets, Joey opened his mouth and said conversationally, "Hiya Moneybags. Lovely day, ain't it?" He was dimly aware of a chorus of startled gasps from his friends as Kaiba's dark blue gaze narrowed.

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tbc


	2. Chapter 2 Aftermath

Title: A Love / Hate Relationship With Spring - Chapter 2?

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Seto/Joey

Beta: Jennie B. - the hardest-working woman in fanfiction today

Spoilers: Don't think so, no. At least, not in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, although for all the money I've spent on it, I could probably purchase a controlling percentage of the stock...So you corporate fatcats don't sue me and I'll keep buying your stuff, deal?

Summary: Joey Wheeler has no shortage of reasons to hate the season of flowers, butterflies, and rebirth. Can someone unexpected give him a reason to enjoy it as well?

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WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES...

As Joey watched in a detached haze, Kaiba's face morphed into an expression of apoplectic rage as he turned his head to meet Joey's still-watering eyes. Kaiba's mouth opened and closed several times before finally forming the word "Mutt..." But that was all he got out. Moving like lightning, he reached down and grabbed the front of Joey's t-shirt with both hands. The hapless teen was hauled upright to face the enraged CEO eye-to-eye, his feet dangling several inches above the ground.

He was sure that this was exactly the kind of situation in which his life should be flashing before his eyes, but instead of taking this time to reflect on his past triumphs and regrets, Joey opened his mouth and said conversationally, "Hiya Moneybags. Lovely day, ain't it?" He was dimly aware of a chorus of startled gasps from his friends as Kaiba's dark blue gaze narrowed.

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Chapter 2:

Dead silence hung impossibly heavy in the air. A small group of teenagers, friend and foe alike, stood clustered just outside the entrance to Domino City Park, awaiting Joey's fate. Birds could be heard chirping in the distance, and the sounds of happy children playing drifted in and out on the still air. Someone was busy mowing their lawn, obviously taking advantage of the favorable weather, and Joey was immeasurably reassured by these normal, everyday sounds surrounding him. He felt a bit optimistic about the outcome of this encounter until he swallowed hard and looked up. His stomach plummeted as he met the murderous glare directed at him from under Seto Kaiba's furrowed brow.

Receiving no response to his attempt at humor, he tried aiming a shaky smile at the taller teen, and still got no reaction. He kicked his feet and squirmed a bit in Kaiba's grasp. He actually felt the t-shirt he was wearing give a little in the seams under his arms. Still nothing. "If I sneeze again, I bet he'd drop me like a hot potato," he thought deliriously. For a few hysterical moments, more inane thoughts swirled in Joey's poor, confused brain. "Should I just start whistling or something? Why hasn't he killed me yet? Why do I care? He could've thumped me five or six times over by now...Is he plannin' on torturin' me first? Yeah, I bet he is. That's just so like him. Hey, are those two dogs over there doin' it?"

Over the next several moments, the standoff continued unabated until suddenly everyone started talking at once, as if some invisible switch had been thrown.

Yugi shifted his weight from one foot to the other and stammered, "Kaiba...he didn't mean it. He has terrible allergies! Really...!"

Mokuba regained control of his laughter and wheezed, "Seto, it was funny! Don't be mad!"

Tristan put in a distinctly unhelpful "C'mon Joey, you can take this punk!"

Tea chimed in with, "Kaiba! You should be ashamed of yourself! Can't you see Joey's not feeling well? It's not his fault, you big bully!"

Joey remained suspended in the air, rolling his eyes and half expecting Ryou to show up and jump into the fray as well. For a brief moment, he wondered exactly what his soft-spoken friend might say in his defense were he there, but then he noticed something, well...odd, happening to the angry CEO's face.

Kaiba blinked.

Kaiba blinked again.

He let his gaze wander slightly to the left, and his lower lip began the barest curve upward. His whole face seemed to... shift, just the tiniest bit, and in Joey's mind, it seemed almost as if a carefully constructed mask was starting to slide.

The startled brunet's eyes widened almost comically in alarm before he regained control over his features. Dropping his head low to hide his traitorous expression, Kaiba shoved Joey roughly in Tristan's face. As he released his hold on the blond's shirt, he grated out, "Here, do something with this." He turned sharply on his heel and stalked off into the park calling over his shoulder as he went, "I'll be sure to send you the bill for a new pair of boots, Mutt. I don't know of any other way to get rid of dog germs."

Sprawled in the dirt on top of Tristan, Joey shot back, "Yeah, well...you do that, then..." He trailed off lamely, a thoughtful look forming on his face as he watched Kaiba stride purposefully out of ear shot.

With mock concern Tristan asked, "You ok, man?" At Joey's affirmative nod, Tristan shoved him roughly out of his lap. "Then get the hell offa me before you have another one of your psycho sneezing fits! I don't wanna end up wearing your snot the rest of the day, either. Dude, I almost feel sorry for Kaiba."

"I'm a mouth sneezer," Joey returned haughtily. "It was mostly spit."

This sent Mokuba into another fit of giggles as he clambered back onto his feet and held out a hand to the older teen. "Is it ok if I hang with you guys for a while? I don't think Seto wants any company right now." He gave them the eerily similar trademark Kaiba smirk, and heaved Joey back up on his feet. "Besides, he's just gonna go sulk under a tree for a while before he comes back to tell me it's time to leave. I have to get in some quality merry-go-round time before that happens." He tilted his head consideringly at the taller teenagers before issuing the challenge, "First one of you guys to make me puke gets fifty dollars!" Mokuba flashed a cheeky grin and scampered off toward the brightly colored playground visible in the distance.

"Oh, that money is MINE..." And with that, Tristan was off.

Yugi snorted. "I guess no one's told Tristan about Mokuba's legendary "iron stomach." That kid will make him earn every penny."

"Definitely... Did you see what he ate at Yugi's Halloween party?" Tea shuddered. "He not only finished off every single piece of candy he collected trick-or-treating, but he also wolfed down ALL of that hideous Jell-O monstrosity someone brought."

Joey glared at her. "Hey! Serenity made that, and I'll have you know she worked very hard on that so-called "Jell-O monstrosity." She was very proud of it, and I'd think you guys could show a little more respect, y'know?"

Yugi arched one eyebrow. "Oh really? So tell me Joey, did YOU eat any of it?"

The brown-eyed boy blushed furiously and busied himself with brushing dirt off of his jeans, ignoring Yugi's chuckle. "I take it that means you've never had any of Tea's cooking then, Yug?"

Yugi looked perplexed. "No. Why?"

Joey just smirked.

Tea cleared her throat loudly and not-so-smoothly changed the subject. "We should go help Tristan out. It'll take more than one man's efforts to make Mokuba barf. Are you coming Joey?"

"Nah. You guys go ahead, I'm gonna run back down to the diner and grab a quick bite to eat." He smacked his lips obnoxiously. "I'm hungry enough to eat the ass end outta a dead rhino."

In unison, Tea and Yugi turned first toward each other, and then toward the blond. "Ewwww!"

"What? Don't you two gimme that look. Someone, who shall remain forever unnamed, dragged me outta the house without breakfast this morning!" Joey scoffed. "You two go on ahead, and I'll meet up with you later. Oh, and if you see Kaiba again, apologize for me, will ya? I'd do it myself, but I think he'd break my face before I got two words out."

Joey turned and began walking back the way the three boys had come from earlier, hands shoved deep in his front pockets. He hunched his shoulders forward and soon lost himself in thought. If he were a gambling man, which he was, he would have wagered that Seto Kaiba, a.k.a. Moneybags, a.k.a. That Rich Prick, had been very close to breaking out into an actual SMILE. "I bet it woulda looked nice on him. He mighta looked human for once," Joey muttered to himself. He shook his head to clear away such bizarre thoughts and took a deep breath of the fresh springtime air.

Yugi and Tea stood outside the park entrance and watched their friend, who was apparently lost in deep thoughts, turn the corner. Moments later, a faint "WAH-CHOOO!" drifted back to their location.

"What's with him?" Tea wondered aloud. "He's not usually the introspective type. And wanting to apologize to KAIBA of all people? What's up with that?"

Yugi grinned widely and shrugged his shoulders, "Who knows? Maybe we should start looking for his pod."

Confused, Tea squinted down at him.

"Oh come ON, Tea! Pod people? "Invasion of the Body Snatchers?" Ring a bell?" Tea squinted even harder. "For heaven's sake, even Yami's seen it!" Yugi shook his head sadly, "You deprived child you..." Grabbing Tea's hand, the pair headed deeper into the park, eagerly greeted by Tristan's pronouncement, "Welcome to Vomit Fest 2005!"

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Seto Kaiba stalked furiously down an overgrown walking path, headed blindly for a secluded grove of trees he knew by heart. When he reached the familiar clearing, he was at a loss as to what he should do next. Now that his forward motion had ceased, he found his body wasn't quite ready to remain still. He turned in a circle several times, pounding his right fist against his opposite open palm. He emphasized each solid "thwack" with the mantra, "How dare he? How DARE he?"

"How dare he WHAT?" his brain snarked back at him. "How dare he sneeze on your precious boots...or how dare he make you smile? Which one has you so upset, you ass?"

Kaiba started to growl an appropriate response before it dawned on him that he was arguing with HIMSELF. He moodily plopped down on the grass and leaned his back against the huge oak tree that jutted up from the middle of the small clearing. With no one around to observe, he set his temper and his public persona aside and began struggling with something that had eluded him from even a young age. He concentrated on trying to be just Seto. He closed his eyes and attempted to block out every cruel lesson Gozaburo Kaiba had ever drilled into him. He tried his best to remember what it was like to be only a child, to be loved and thought of as a normal, everyday boy; not different or special in any way.

Closing his eyes however, only brought him a flurry of unwanted images.

The mutt's tremulous grin as he looked Kaiba in the eye, no doubt expecting a well-deserved pounding, was forefront in his mind. As was the rear view image he had been treated to as he had rounded the corner on the way to the park. The sight of Joey Wheeler bending over right in front of him had caused the briefest falter in his purposeful steps, and he hoped that his ever-observant brother had not noticed the slip-up. He felt that he had covered fairly well with an appropriately timed dog joke, but that was all before the disastrous sneezing incident. Things went all to hell after that, and Kaiba realized that even though he had started out with the upper hand, things had rapidly slipped out of his control when he had failed to take the mutt down a notch.

He had to give Wheeler credit, though. The mutt might constantly leap into impossible situations without thinking, but he never backed down from anything. If Kaiba hadn't found it so adorable, he would have said it was annoying...

He shifted his mind away from unfocused retrospection and turned his gaze to stare down long legs at his ruined boots. Wrinkling his nose in disgust, he leaned forward and began to gingerly unbuckle his boots with occasional exclamations of "Gross!" and "Damned mutt!" Once they were completely off, he swiped them through the overgrown grass a few times before giving up completely and just tossing them across the clearing. He'd deal with the boots later. Right now was HIS time...

Stripping off his socks as well, Kaiba wiggled his toes in ecstasy, revelling in the feel of the lush green grass caressing his feet. He would never admit it to a single living soul, but Seto Kaiba LOVED Spring. Every day during the harsh Domino City winter, he eventually wound up gazing out through the plate glass windows that made up one whole corner of his hi-rise office. Firmly ensconced in his nest at the top of Kaiba Corp Tower he could practically FEEL the wall of windows at his back. He knew it would only be a matter of time before he would swivel his plush office chair around to take advantage of the remarkable view his wealth afforded him. Every winter day he hoped to see a bit of green down below, a ray of sunlight breaking through the clouds, or a flower petal drifting by on the wind; even a bird or two would be a welcome sight as long as they weren't pigeons. The cold, grey and white skyline was no different than the cold, grey and white office in which he spent far too much time. He longed for the start of Spring every year, just so he could enjoy a moment or two like this one, in relative peace. He coveted these rare and precious segments of time in which he went untroubled by corporate takeovers, Duel Monsters tournaments, or crazed Egyptian pharaohs yammering on and on about destiny.

As he drifted in and out of a light doze, he came to a realization: Like a lot of people, Seto Kaiba craved simple, uncomplicated things. Things like Joey Wheeler.

Strangely enough, this revelation didn't really shock him. He'd always known there was an unusual brand of chemistry at work between the two of them. He would never acknowledge it of course; but he already accepted the fact that the mutt got under his skin like no one else. Obviously, he reasoned, there had to have been an underlying reason for it. He settled on simple, unresolved sexual tension as the most likely explanation. After all, so many of their assumed "fights" were, in actuality, carefully planned out and executed by Kaiba himself.

He could live with being attracted to Joey because he knew nothing could ever come of it. There was nothing at all daunting about a simulation, which was how he frequently viewed his interactions with the mutt. He enjoyed setting up various scenarios between the two of them and observing how they played out. With a detached, clinical eye, he could pinpoint exactly how the other's reactions affected him, and store the knowledge away for further introspection.

He liked his dealings with Joey Wheeler to be predictable: worthy of further study but nonetheless always with Kaiba in complete control of himself and the situation at hand. Today, however... Today had been different.

And he didn't like it one bit.

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tbc


	3. Chapter 3 Intermission

Title: A Love / Hate Relationship With Spring - Chapter 3?

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M (still not yet, be patient with me!)

Pairing(s): Seto / Joey, hints of Tristan / Duke

Beta: Jennie B. (I'm going to buy her a teddy bear, I swear)

Spoilers: Maybe just a bit for the Battle City / Noa arc. Just a teensy mention, really.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, although for all the money I've spent on it, I could probably purchase a controlling percentage of the stock...So you corporate fatcats don't sue me and I'll keep buying your stuff, deal?

Summary: Joey Wheeler has no shortage of reasons to hate the season of flowers, butterflies, and rebirth. Can someone unexpected give him a reason to enjoy it as well?

A/N: Just wanted to say a quick thank you to all my kind reviewers - you guys are great! I'm a bit strapped for time at the moment, but I will personally acknowledge each and every one of your comments individually on the next update! I hope you enjoy the chapter, and in the meantime, I'll be busily working on chapter 4!

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WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES...

He could live with being attracted to Joey because he knew nothing could ever come of it. There was nothing at all daunting about a simulation, which was how he frequently viewed his interactions with the mutt. He enjoyed setting up various scenarios between the two of them and observing how they played out. With a detached, clinical eye, he could pinpoint exactly how the other's reactions affected him, and store the knowledge away for further introspection.

He liked his dealings with Joey Wheeler to be predictable: worthy of further study but nonetheless always with Kaiba in complete control of himself and the situation at hand. Today, however... Today had been different.

And he didn't like it one bit.

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Chapter 3:

Joey Wheeler gave an exaggerated sigh of relief as he stepped inside Maxine's Diner and was embraced by the cool, pollen-free atmosphere. The proprietress herself lounged behind the dubiously clean counter, glancing up when she heard the loud jingling of the bell above the door. "Little Joey Wheeler!" she exclaimed in her booming voice. She greeted the blond with her thousand megawatt smile, and motioned him up to the counter. "Look what the cat dragged in!" In Maxine McGovern's mind, he would always be "Little Joey Wheeler", the scruffy ten year old who had first ducked into her establishment wild-eyed and panting for breath. A stampeding herd of angry, older boys were in pursuit of the smaller blond, and they were hell bent on revenge. Looking for a quick place to lay low, he had spotted the "Grand Opening" sign above the door and made a break for it. To be honest, Joey had most certainly NOT been the wronged party in the dispute, and their relentless pursuit had been wholly justified. However, to the diner's new owner, it had been a simple case of five against one. And Maxine had made it a special point to always champion the underdog.

"Maxine my dear, you're looking particularly gorgeous today. Has Old Man McGovern kicked the bucket yet?" Joey plopped down on a wobbly bar stool and fluttered his eyelashes outrageously at the older woman.

Laughing, she turned her attention to the soft drink fountain, "The old coot is still hangin' in there, Sweetie. We can't elope quite yet. Just you be patient with me, and I'll come up with some kind of plan to get us that insurance money; wait and see." She winked at the grinning teenager and set an overflowing glass of Coke on the counter in front of him. "On the house, Studmuffin." Maxine pinched his cheek and slid an ancient menu over to him. "Take your time, Kiddo. I got nowhere else to be." She made her way back inside the diner's noisy kitchen, whistling as she passed.

Reaching into his back pocket for his wallet, Joey's stomach gave a muted roar, wakened from its dormant state by the delicious odors wafting from the kitchen. The pictures on the menu, though faded, made his mouth water and his stomach clamor for attention again. As hungry as he was, Joey had committed himself to a strict budget some time ago, and food expenditures outside of groceries were luxuries that he had to keep careful tabs on. He estimated ten dollars for lunch and a tip was a reasonable amount to spend, and he began mentally calculating how much of yesterday's paycheck could be secreted away to his savings account. Flipping open the battered leather, he peered down into the bill compartment. Joey's breath hitched, and his face instantly drained of all color. His wallet was empty. Snapping it shut, he swallowed around the knot forming in his throat and opened it to look again. Totally empty - even the condom he'd picked up during his sex ed class sophomore year was gone. Frantically his brain tried to think of where he might have misplaced the money but, in his heart, he already knew exactly what had happened. His father had taken it.

He rested his forehead on the cool counter below him, and thought back to the previous evening: Exhausted, Joey had staggered home late last night and barely managed the presence of mind to remove his clothes and shoes before collapsing on the bed. He bade a swift farewell to the not-so-wonderful world of consciousness and had known nothing more of the waking realm until that errant ray of sunshine intruded into his bedroom. He certainly hadn't been thinking clearly enough to take the cash out of his wallet and stash it under the loose floorboard in his closet. It was the same routine he followed every Friday night. Friday being the one night he knew for sure his father would be on the prowl for extra cash. By sad coincidence, payday was also Poker Night at Stan Wheeler's favorite dive. Joey had learned long ago that on that particular day, any meager earnings he kept on his person were fair game. His hard earned cash would either be stealthily snatched from under his nose, or beaten out of him and taken anyway. Deception in any situation involving his father and money had become almost second nature to him, and no matter how many ways the sixteen year-old looked at it, his one small lapse in vigilance had just cost him dearly. Two weeks' lost pay and a serious setback to his plans to move out on his own were a heavy price to pay for one mistake. Not to mention the fact that he'd just been robbed of today's lunch, as well.

With a rough shove, he returned the empty wallet to his back pocket and clenched his fists tightly. He blinked several times just to make sure that no, he was NOT going to cry right there in plain view of Maxine and everyone else in the diner. Rage and frustration were achingly familiar to the blond, but giving into pointless tears was not an option. Half of the time, every person in his life he gave a damn about treated him like a charity case and, whether they realized it or not, he resented them a little for it. Joey Wheeler had always gotten by on his own, fought his own battles, and did his best to roll with the punches. Crying would only lead to questions he didn't want to answer. He sometimes wondered if there was anyone out there who could possibly understand what he was going through. It seemed like he had been wearing a disguise for so long, it was getting hard to tell which was the mask and which was really him.

Resting shaky hands on the back of his head, he leaned back on his stool and called out to Maxine, "Hey Beautiful, on second thought I'm only HALF starved today. I think I'll just take my Coke and sit over by the window. Y'know, enjoy the sunshine and all that crap."

Maxine came back out and looked at the blond as though he'd just sprouted an extra head, but nodded. "Sure thing, Sweet Cheeks.You just let me know if you need any thing else, 'kay?" Joey grabbed his drink and wandered over to the front of the restaurant.

"Don't worry Maxine, I'll come in later this week and eat my own body weight, deal? You'll probably need time to stock up anyway." She snorted in amusement and returned to her duties in the kitchen while Joey slid his lanky frame into a sun-warmed corner booth. He sipped his drink and concentrated on banishing morose thoughts from his mind.

It wasn't long until the strong, steady sunlight caused his eyelids to droop. He quickly became bored with people watching and slumped down farther in the booth, his feet supported on the opposite bench. After a few more minutes had passed, he leaned his head against the heated glass of the diner window. Stifling a massive, face-stretching yawn with the palm of his hand, the blond settled into a light doze. He let his mind drift off into his favorite fantasy of the moment: the total and utter humiliation of one Seto Kaiba.

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In this particular version of the fantasy, the two of them were facing off in a heated match atop the duel tower on Kaiba Corp Island. The sun was a palpable presence as it beat down on their high vantage point, making them both squint as its intensity blurred the barely visible horizon. Joey had just ended his turn with Panther Warrior on the field in attack mode and was down to his last 200 life points. Kaiba was not much better off with 400 life points, the expanse of playing field in front of him deserted and awaiting his next move. The arrogant CEO had started off as his usual cocky, overconfident self, hurling insults left and right. Recently however, he had begun to sweat and was showing obvious signs of buckling under the pressure. Eyes wide and shifting wildly, he laid one card face down, and began the process of summoning a monster in defense position to protect his remaining life points. These actions were accompanied by none of his usual blustery fanfare, and Joey made note of how the brunet's elegant hands were visibly trembling.

"Ah, ah, ah," the shorter teen interrupted and waggled a mocking finger at his opponent. "I don't think so." A Trap Hole card materialized on the blond's side of the field and then disappeared, taking the other duelist's monster card with it. Joey smugly crossed his arms over his chest. "What else you got?"

Kaiba's face crumpled as the last barrier between him and a humiliating defeat was whisked off the playing field. He lowered his head and stared intently at the ground for several tension filled moments. A shaky whisper barely reached the opposite side of the arena, "I... end my turn."

"Alright Moneybags...Let's wrap this up, shall we? I got more important things to do with my time than waste it dueling someone so obviously beneath my level of expertise." Joey shot a gleeful smirk at his glum opponent and drew what he knew for sure to be his final card of the duel. "First, I'll get rid of that pesky magic card." He opened with Harpie's Feather Duster, destroying the face down card and leaving the CEO's side of the field totally vulnerable to attack. "Then I'll wipe up what's left of you with my Panther Warrior." He shifted his feet apart and raised his right arm high above his head. WIth a dramatic, sweeping gesture, he extended his arm in Kaiba's direction and crowed triumphantly, "Panther Warrior, attack his life points directly!"

Then the world went dark.

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"What the...?" He jerked his head away from the window to stare blankly at the black expanse now filling his vision. Puzzled, he blinked several times and fumbled to wipe away the impressive amount of drool that had accumulated on his chin. Craning his neck upwards, he was greeted by the smiling face of Duke Devlin. The tall, dark haired boy then proceeded to press his leather clad rear end against the window over Joey's face. Wiping the back of his hand on the leg of his jeans, he glared right back at the green-eyed teen and tried very hard not to crack up. Duke peered backwards at the blond from over his shoulder and was obviously having a hard time holding back his own laughter. Joey rolled his eyes and motioned for his friend to join him inside the restaurant. He removed his feet from their perch to make room, but wasn't really surprised when other teen flopped down beside him instead.

Leaning in and doing a fair job of squashing the blond against the window, Duke dug his elbow into Joey's ribs and asked in a low voice, "How'd you like that view, hot stuff?"

"You're vile, Devlin. Truly vile. I was havin' an awesome dream until your scrawny ass showed up. Heh. Literally."

"Oh yeah? Was it about me? Was I naked?"

Joey scowled. "No."

"Covered in whipped cream?"

"No!"

"Nothing but a thong, then?"

"Oh for the love of - NO! It was about Kaiba!" He sucked in a breath, horrified at his own words.

Duke's eyebrows shot straight up to his hairline at that. "Oh really..." he purred, tilting his head to the side and giving the other boy an assessing look. "Was HE covered in whipped cream?"

"I swear to God, I'm going to punch you right in the face if you don't DROP IT!"

"OK, OK. Don't get your panties in a bunch, pal. I don't need to know all about your sick fantasies involving Mr. Tall, Dark and Dysfunctional anyway. Best of luck, man. You've got some serious competition."

Joey was now thoroughly confused. "Eh?"

The black-haired teen nodded solemnly and took a long drink of his friend's forgotten Coke. "Oh yeah, that's a really big stick he's got shoved up his ass. I'm not sure how you'd measure up."

"You are such an ass."

"Mmm-hmm, you love me though." He lifted his head and shouted toward the diner's front counter, "Yo, Maxine! The service in this dive blows!"

The lady in question didn't even turn to look at Duke as she called, "Keep your pants on, Miss Priss, I already know what you're gonna order anyway. You want fries with that?"

"Of course, and a DIET Coke please; I've got a waistline to watch."

Maxine grunted, rolling her eyes. "You queers are all alike."

"Then it's lucky for you that I'm bi." He blew their hostess a kiss, and to Joey's amazement, she actually blushed. Duke had that effect on a lot of women, but MAXINE? Wonders would never cease. "You're an angel as always," Duke called, then turned back to his companion, "I'm going to marry that woman someday."

"Get in line. I saw her first."

The other boy feigned hurt, then took a long look at his benchmate. Something just wasn't right. He snapped his fingers as it dawned on him. Joey Wheeler was in an eating establishment but wasn't eating! The world MUST be coming to an end, as this was surely one of the seven signs of the apocalypse. Then again, maybe he was just broke. "You want something to eat, man? My treat."

The blond seemed startled by the suggestion but shrugged it off, "Nah. Thanks for offerin', but I'm actually not hungry at the moment." He waggled his eyebrows at the taller boy. "I may swipe a few of your fries when you're not looking, though. Gotta keep the skills sharp."

Duke seemed satisfied with that answer and the other boy released a breath he wasn't even aware he had been holding. Duke wasn't fooled, but wisely decided that a change of subject was in order. "So have you seen Tristan today or what? I called his house, but his parents said he went out earlier. He's cheating on me, isn't he? Come on, Joe, tell me the truth. I can handle it"

"You can be such a drama queen sometimes, you know that? You've got Tris wrapped around your little finger and everyone's figured it out except for him." Joey leaned back in the booth, sipping his Coke. "Besides, I know for a fact he's down the street at the park trying his damnedest to make Mokuba puke." The other teen quirked an eyebrow at this, but didn't ask for clarification. "Yug' and Tea are there, too, and I'm supposed to join back up with them there in a little while. IF I decide to venture back out into the swirling pollen maelstrom of doom..."

"Ooo... check it out! Wheeler's whipping out the fifty-dollar words! Someone get you a word-a-day calendar for Christmas, Dog-Boy?"

"You're real fuckin' funny. I take back what I said earlier. Tristan IS cheatin' on you. With Mokuba. He told me this mornin' that you were losing your looks and he'd had enough of your fat ass to last a lifetime. That's right. I said FAT. ASS. He's got him some fresh meat, and you're old news buddy. Sorry to have to break it to ya like that, but hey, life's tough that way."

Duke turned his nose up in the air, "Well, at least I still have my legion of fangirls to fall back on. My hags will never desert me."

Maxine arrived well timed with a cheeseburger, fries and Diet Coke in tow and for a while, the two boys sat in relative silence. They played a familiar game in which Joey occasionally pointed behind his friend and exclaimed, "Look! It's Orlando!" When the other teen inevitably turned to look, a few more French fries had disappeared off his plate by the time he swung his head back around. Time passed peaceably enough in this manner, until Duke decided it was time to open up another can of worms.

"So Joey, how's the "Big Plan" coming along? You and Tris still saving up for an apartment together?"

Joey chewed his French fry thoughtfully while he debated the best way to answer that question. He frequently found himself doubting Tristan's commitment to the plans they had laid out the past summer, but he wasn't exactly sure how to convey his doubts to Duke. After all, as Tristan's boyfriend it was inevitable that word of their conversation would find its way back to their mutual friend. In one form or another. He decided the direct approach was probably the best.

"To be honest man, I don't even know if Tris has saved any money at all. He's been totally dodging me on the subject. We're tight and all, but I don't wanna go ahead and put myself out there on a limb if he's not gonna be able to hold up his end, y'know?"

The other boy nodded his ebony head up and down vigorously. "He's been cruising the want-ads for a job, but his expectations are totally unrealistic. I mean, he's my boyfriend and I love him to death, but sometimes I just want to knock the shit out of him. For one thing, he's got two - TWO - clueless middle class parents who go out and buy him a motorcycle or whatever else he wants just as long as he asks politely. He's got no practical real-life experience, and he's never had even the slightest disadvantage. He's not like you and me, Joe. He's never had it rough or been forced to fend for himself. I'm not sure he could hold down a job even if he DID manage to find someone desperate enough to hire him."

The blond had paused with a fry midway to his mouth and goggled at the other teenager's outburst. "Been storin' that up for a while, have you?"

Duke managed to look ashamed, but only just barely. He leaned back and ran a hand through his hair self-consciously. "Yeah, I guess so. Ah, don't mind me - I'm just venting. You know Tristan means everything to me; I just get fed up with his "the world owes me something" attitude every now and then. He and I are from two totally different backgrounds, but we still manage to make it work somehow. I suppose there really is something to that old "opposites attract" happy crappy, huh?" His companion's only response was a sarcastic snort. "I've got an idea! Why don't I just hire him over at the game shop? It'd give him practical work experience and I can even help him manage his money. I'm not too likely to can my own boyfriend, so you wouldn't have to worry about his source of income drying up and leaving you in the lurch" He looked particularly pleased with himself for coming up with the idea. "This could work! I'm such a genius!"

"Yeah, but you wear too much eyeliner. Makes you look like a tramp." Maxine plunked the check down on the table between the two boys and stumped back behind the cash register.

Joey howled with laughter while his friend just crossed his arms over his chest and glared daggers across the diner at their hostess. The blond boy beat his fist on the table and laughed even harder when the "Green Gaze of Death" fell on him.

"Are you quite finished?"

"Ah man, that had me cryin', and not from allergies for once." He wiped his eyes and managed to redirect his attention back to the serious matter at hand. "I appreciate what you're tryin' to do and stuff, I really do. But I don't think that just handin' him a job is gonna be the best way to teach Tristan about bein' responsible. Besides, your shop would be outta business in no time 'cause you two perverts would be in the back room gettin' it on all the time."

Duke looked affronted. "Honestly, I'm saddened and appalled that you could think such things about my business ethics, Joseph. At the very WORST, I'd only make him blow me under my desk two or three times a day. Really, I'm shocked at the way your mind works." Bright green eyes, previously widened in feigned outrage, narrowed slightly. They turned to pin the brown ones beside him with a knowing gaze. "Seriously though Joey, you shouldn't need to depend on someone else to make this happen. This is YOUR dream, and I can pretty much say for a fact that Tristan's just along for the ride. He loves you like a brother and if he thinks there's anything he can do to help you out, you know for sure he'll jump in with both feet. I've seen the things you've accomplished in your life, man. I know there's nothing that can hold you back if you put your mind and heart into it. You're like a freaking force of nature. As cheesy as it sounds, it works for you. If it's something you want, you always seem to make it happen. Joey Wheeler just doesn't quit."

"Aw, c'mon... cut it out with the mushy motivational talk. You're makin' me all - "

"No!" Duke's fist impacted with the tabletop. "Dammit, this has been a long time coming and so help me, you're going to sit there and listen while I finish having my say! Got it?"

The other boy nodded dumbly. He fervently wished for Maxine to break up the serious nature of the conversation with yet another timely intervention.

"Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I remember. I was trying to hammer some sense through that thick skull of yours. Look, I'm going to cut the shit right now and tell you straight up - I know life is tough for you, especially at home and right now in particular - " Joey opened his mouth to protest, but his determined friend slapped an open palm over his mouth before he could get a word out.

"I said SHUT IT! You can deny it and lie right to my face all you want blondie, but I've BEEN THERE and I know the signs all too well. You're not clever, and you're not even very good at hiding it. Just accept the fact that we all know, and that some of us even know first hand, got it? We're moving past that now."

Again he nodded, still too bewildered to speak even if the hand were removed.

Duke narrowed his eyes. "Damn, I wish you'd stop making me lose my train of thought... OK. The gist of it is this: I know we got off on the wrong foot a while back - Hmmm." He looked thoughtful, "Or would that be paw?" Joey, mouth still muffled, growled low in his throat. "Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that back then, I thought you were just a joke; a goofy, loud sidekick if you will." He shrugged his shoulders in an unapologetic gesture and continued. "We've been through a lot together since then and I guess I've come to respect you a little bit, you know? I've seen your determination, and I've seen how you fight for what you think is right. You stand up for yourself and for your friends, and you don't let anything deter you, no matter how impossible winning might seem. NOTHING keeps you down, man. Absolutely NOTHING. All I'm saying is that I think this is a talent you should apply to the rest of your life. You have the ability to overcome anything that stands in your way. I've seen you do it too many times to doubt it anymore. If you want something bad enough, take it. Make it happen." Duke let out a deep sigh and took his hand away from the other's mouth. "I'm done, and I hope to God that sank in because I'm not going guru on your ass again, understand?"

There was even more flabbergasted nodding on Joey's part, and he had begun feeling a little choked up. He cleared his throat and turned to directly face the other boy. The serious expression on his face matched his words as he stated plainly, "All that junk you just said, it was...unexpected at the very least. I really oughta punch your lights out for thinkin' you can mess around in my personal life, and for preachin' at me like you know what's best." He gently put has hand on the green-eyed boy's arm, "All that aside, I appreciate everything you just said to me, and you can't know what it means to me that you're willing to risk gettin' the crap beat outta ya just to tell me how you feel. That alone shows you care, 'cause you know I could kick your narrow, girly ass two blocks over and back again if I wanted to." He heard his own voice waver slightly, so he paused to take another drink and gather his confused thoughts back together. "You of all people should know that beatin' the odds isn't just some natural talent I have. I'm just too stupid and stubborn to ever give up, even when everyone else tells me I should. It's all just a combination of dumb luck and my friends helpin' me out and believin' in me. You know that because you ARE one of my very best friends, Duke." Joey paused for a moment to let this sink in since it was the first time he had ever brought himself to say it out loud. He was afraid to go on because his voice had started to crack, just a little.

Duke apparently took pity on him and countered with, "Yeah, one of your very best friends who still wants to bang your sister!"

"Why you - " The shorter teen leapt up onto his knees and grabbed Duke in a vicious headlock. "You take that back you sicko! You don't talk about my sister like that!"

"Ooo yeah, can't you just see it? Me and Tristan and Serenity in a hot, steamy threesome, all naked and sweaty, rolling around on the-"

"AAAAA! You are so far past dead right now!..." Joey increased the pressure around the dark head in his arms.

"Alright, alright, I give. Choking I can handle, but you're starting to pull my hair, and that's just not acceptable behaviour."

The blond turned his back on the boy next to him and muttered, "Pervert."

"Prick."

"Child molestor."

"Bully." At this, Joey around in his seat just the smallest fraction.

"We cool?"

Duke turned his usual devastating grin on the smaller boy, "Yeah Joe. We're cool." He grabbed the check off the table and slid out of the booth. The two boys made their way toward the front of the restaurant, unable to resist the urge to engage in horseplay even for such a short trek. Joey attempted to shove his friend into a nearby table and chairs, but they were gracefully sidestepped by the taller boy. The retaliation came when Duke stuck his foot in front of the blond unexpectedly, and Joey went flying headlong to land awkwardly on his face. The brown-eyed teenager skidded to a stop sprawled at the foot of the bar directly beneath the cash register. Chuckling to himself, the victor of round two stepped on the prone figure and proudly waved his check in front of Maxine's smirking face. She feigned surprise and teased, "You two ladies done making out in the corner already?" Joey made a muffled protest. Tapping keys on the register in front of her, she held her other hand out for the cash Duke had dug out of his pocket. "I'll have you know I'm running a family friendly business here, so if you two wanna feel each other up that bad, at least take it to the crapper, will you?" She handed his change back with a wink, and leaned forward over the counter to glance at the floor. "Oh honey, let him up now please; I think he's learned his lesson."

Duke yielded, but not before he had stomped his foot a few times to make sure there was a perfectly visible, dusty boot print on Joey's rear. He then hopped lightly to the floor and kicked his cursing friend in the ribs. The blond wheezed and gasped a bit before climbing slowly to his feet, but otherwise he seemed none the worse for wear. He may or may not have been overheard muttering the words, "Fat," and "Ass." It was hard to tell.

The black-haired boy grabbed two packs of Twinkies off the rack next to the bar and handed Maxine some extra cash along with a generous tip. "Ooo! Big spender! You come back and see us any time, Toots." She playfully flicked her ever-present dish towel at Duke's posterior. Making their way back to the entrance, they each took one of the cellophane wrapped packages and paused to open them.

"You're not going to do that "deep throating the Twinkie" thing again, are you Dice-Boy? 'Cause that was just gross, and once in a lifetime's enough."

"I wasn't planning on it, but since you put in a special request..."

"No, no, don't go there please. Here, watch and see if I can fit both of 'em in my mouth at the same time."

"This should be interesting..."

Joey stood with his back to the front window, and proceeded to shove one entire Twinkie into his mouth with little difficulty.

"Uh-uh. No fair!" The taller boy reprimanded, "No chewing OR swallowing! Now cram that other one in before I have to call do-over and go buy some more."

The blond rolled his eyes and attempted to insert the other cream filled pastry into his mouth, but with more care and precision this time around.

"That's it...nice and slow. Oh baby, this is getting me SO hot... Why Joseph, I never knew you were such a slut."

The aforementioned slut stamped one foot in irritation and concentrated on making the damned thing FIT in there.

When taunting and words alone failed to get the desired reaction, the green-eyed teen resorted to outright fighting dirty. With a deadpan expression affixed firmly to his face, he stared straight into the other boy's watering brown eyes. He then inserted one index finger up his own nostril.

Joey choked.

"Hey - HEY! Watch where you're spewing that; these pants are new!"

The blond doubled over, gasping and making a variety of other distressed sounds, "Ah God, I hate you so very, very much." At least, that's what it sounded like he said - it was difficult to decipher due to all the coughing and spluttering that came out along with the words. Maxine came over with a glass of water and gave the taller of the two a look that clearly said, "You should be ashamed of yourself."

Duke did his part by smacking his friend firmly on the back. When the remainder of the Twinkie had been either dislodged or swallowed, Joey just shook his head, still unable to speak.

"I'm sorry man. I couldn't help myself."

"It's OK." The brown-eyed teen straightened himself and downed the last of the water. He grinned back at his companion, "I probably would've done the same thing. That was pretty classic."

But, his friend was no longer paying him any attention. Instead, he was staring over Joey's shoulder at something out the front window. His green eyes were round, and his mouth was open in a surprised "o". In short, he looked completely dumbfounded by whatever he was seeing through the glass. Joey wasn't falling for it. Not for a second. How dumb did Dice-Boy think he was?

Duke breathed, "Holy. Shit."

"Oh right, like I'm just gonna turn around and look so you can give me a wedgie or something equally juvenile. Pull the other leg, why dontcha? I ain't fallin' for it, so just give it up!" None of this tirade drew any reaction from the other boy and, despite his words to the contrary, Joey found himself slowly turning...

He was greeted by the most astonishing sight he had ever witnessed in his sixteen years of life:

There, just on the other side of the glass, was THE Seto Kaiba. That in itself was unremarkable, as the wealthy CEO didn't actually take his limo EVERYWHERE as was often claimed. What was unusual about the situation arose more from the fact that THE Seto Kaiba was wandering around dazed and BAREFOOT of all things, on the sidewalk right in front of the diner. He appeared extremely disheveled and disoriented. Joey felt that even the word "extremely" might have been a tad understated in this case. The teenager's normally smooth and perfectly coiffed auburn hair was matted together in tufts that stuck out in a variety of directions. His always immaculate and expensive clothes were rumpled, and his ever-present white leather duster was nowhere to be seen. But that was only the tip of the iceberg. His movements were jerky, and his regular, overconfident swagger seemed to have melded into a bizarre amalgam of pained limping and shuffling. The brunet seemed uncharacteristically confused as he hobbled back and forth directly in front of the diner, almost as if he were unable to choose which direction he wanted to head in.

While his companion was still witnessing this spectacle with his earlier thunderstruck expression, Joey felt a feral grin begin to creep across his own stunned features. The ultimate revenge for every defeat, every dog insult, every slight he had ever suffered at Seto Kaiba's hands was firmly within his grasp. All he had to do was follow Duke's advice and just reach out and take it...

This was gonna be good.

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tbc


	4. Chapter 4 In Dreams

Title: A Love / Hate Relationship With Spring - Chapter 4?

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M (I don't know about fruit, citrus or otherwise, but there IS some steamy boy on boy smut in this chapter)

Pairing(s): Seto/Joey, hints of Tristan/Duke, maybe more. I said maybe.

Beta: Jennie B. (She's craptacular!)

Spoilers: None (unless Seto and Joey actually DO start getting it on in the anime, in which case I will stop writing fanfiction and get Tivo)

Disclaimer: Are you serious? Oh, OK. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, I just twist it around and use it for my own perverted satisfaction. Don't look at me like that. I'm not the only one. points finger You're reading this, after all.

Summary: Joey Wheeler has no shortage of reasons to hate the season of flowers, butterflies, and rebirth. Can someone unexpected give him a reason to enjoy it as well?

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WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES...

While his companion was still witnessing this spectacle with his previous thunderstruck expression, Joey felt a feral grin begin to creep across his own stunned features. The ultimate revenge for every defeat, every dog insult, every slight he had ever suffered at Seto Kaiba's hands was firmly within his grasp. All he had to do was follow Duke's earlier advice and just reach out and take it...

This was gonna be good.

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Chapter 4:

Joey elbowed Duke out of his way as he stepped outside the diner and into the warm Spring sunshine. For a minute or two, his arrival went unnoticed by the disoriented CEO. He frowned. It took away from his fun if Kaiba didn't realize he had an audience. He leaned against the front of the building and commenced clearing his throat loudly. When that didn't grab Kaiba's immediate attention, he tried a different tack. "You look like hammered dog shit, Kaiba. What the hell happened to you?"

Seto froze. Here was the very last person in the world that he wanted as witness to his predicament. He closed his eyes for a moment to gather his wits about him then, straightening his shoulders, he turned to confront the voice behind him. As Kaiba whirled around, Joey was instantly pinned in place by an ice-cold glare.

Looking into those dark blue eyes, Joey felt a shiver run up his spine. He'd started out believing that he had the advantage in this unusual situation, but he was now ready to re-evaluate that particular assessment. At first, he had wondered if the other boy was high on something, but one look at that alert, malevolent glare answered that question for him. The intensity of that burning gaze wasn't lessened in the slightest, and Joey would have taken a step backwards if it weren't for the wall already at his back.

Seto gave the blond a lingering once-over and then curled his lip in seeming disgust. "Aren't you supposed to be in the park with the rest of the nerd herd? Did you slip your leash?" He crossed his arms over his chest. "Or maybe they just set you loose hoping you wouldn't find your way home." He realized his mouth had gone dry as he said this and, despite his painful and embarrassing circumstances, he eagerly awaited the thrill he knew would come from watching Wheeler lose his legendary temper.

Before the blond could even begin to splutter, Kaiba's hopes were dashed. Both their attentions were drawn to a second figure arriving in their midst. Duke Devlin immediately took the nobler path and asked in a concerned voice, "Hey, are you OK, man? Do you need to sit down or something?"

Kaiba mentally debated his choices. He knew he wouldn't be able to stand unassisted for much longer, but was loath to demonstrate any signs of weakness in the presence of the two rival duelists. The huge, green eyes showed nothing but confusion and concern, and he decided that the best course of action would be to just come clean while ignoring the mutt's presence altogether. He was more than smart enough to realize he wasn't getting out of this mess without some sort of explanation. Seto Kaiba was desperate, but he wasn't above manipulating the situation. Smirking to himself, he realized he could use Devlin's soft-hearted nature to his own advantage. This was all well and good of course, but the mutt posed another problem. How could he think clearly enough to maneuver his way out of this when those intense brown eyes were focused on his every move? He sank down on the nearest bench and propped his feet up with a groan. Carefully avoiding looking at the shorter teenager, he told an abbreviated version of the events leading up to his current situation...

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15 Minutes Prior...

Seto Kaiba was dreaming. He knew it was a dream because he had just passed his little brother while walking down an endless hall of mirrors. And his brother had been a giant snail. "That was an awesome touchdown, big brother," the Mokuba-snail called as he went by. "That tomato soup never stood a chance." Bemused, Seto shook his head and gingerly avoided stepping in the slime trail that Mokuba had left in his wake. His dreams were usually a bit on the ludicrous side, and he had always just assumed it was a natural by-product of his stressful career and lifestyle. He often mused that a psychiatrist would probably have a field day with even the most mundane situations that occurred during his non-waking hours. He halted before one of the infinite mirrors in order to view his reflection. This hall of mirrors theme was a recurring one, but he'd never bothered to hazard a guess at their meaning. Not every mirror he encountered reflected his own image back at him; some acted more as windows to other places or even like movie screens. This particular one was not of the latter group. Seto frowned at the mirror, hoping his most severe glare would have the same effect in dreams as it did in the waking world. The offending surface, however, did NOT shatter into a million pieces or run away crying. Instead, it remained static, stubbornly insisting that he was, indeed, wearing a frilly pink tutu and ballet slippers. Glancing down at himself, he was relieved to note that no matter what the reflective surface was trying to tell him, he was, in fact, dressed in normal, everyday clothes. When he looked up again, he noticed that the opposite row of mirrors had become an endless parade of closed doors. This was a new and intriguing development.

Seto continued his stroll down the hallway, eventually stopping in front of a door and pressing one ear against the polished wood surface. He heard faint music coming from within, and it sounded... familiar somehow. Curiosity finally got the better of him and, before he even realized it, his dream-self was turning the knob and slowly pushing the door inward. Recognition dawned on him as he heard the music again, clearly this time. It had been quite some time - in fact, not since his halcyon days at preschool - that his ears had been treated to the unmistakable strains of "The Hokey-Pokey". Standing in the entryway and peering into the mysterious room, the source of the music was not readily apparent. The room itself appeared to be an elaborate ballroom, complete with checkerboard tile floor and a massive, overhanging chandelier. In the middle of the dance floor stood his constant rival, Yami. As Kaiba watched, fascinated, the pharaoh enthusiastically followed the musical directions by "putting his left foot in". As he "shook it all about", he glanced up at Seto and smirked. It was then that the CEO realized he was standing in the doorway completely naked. He was even more horrified to note that he was sporting the beginnings of an erection. Yami ceased his dancing to stare with interest at the brunet's burgeoning arousal. He approached the other young man with a catlike grace, slinking forward and coming to a stop directly before the flustered duelist. Despite the fact that he was fully aware of his dream state, Seto was displeased to note that his nemesis was a good two inches taller than himself.

With erotic grace, Yami ran a finger along the other teen's bottom lip. He leaned tantalizingly close and whispered in a silky voice, "You'll want to be taking that," he indicated Seto's groin with a wave of his regal hand, "two doors to the left." And with that, he stalked back to the center of the floor and resumed his dance steps.

Kaiba stumbled backwards, the door closing automatically in his face. He stared down at his traitorous erection and attempted to will it away. When this failed, he concentrated on trying to envision himself once again fully dressed. Nothing happened. With a sigh, he decided to follow the dream-Yami's bizarre instructions. He might as well; he had to admit he was curious to see what would happen. After all, there were no consequences to worry about in dreams... and, while Seto had never really trusted the Egyptian, he didn't really think the spirit would deliberately try to hurt him, even in a dream. His gaze shifted to the first door on the left. It was painted white, a brass plaque affixed to its surface at eye level. "Department of Motor Vehicles," he read out loud, and shuddered. He knew the stuff of nightmares lay beyond that portal, and he wisely continued onward. There seemed to be nothing special about the second door to the left, and listening brought no further indication as to what might lie inside. Feeling a bit reckless, he twisted the knob and threw open the door forcefully. The illumination from the hallway did not penetrate into the gloom before him, so he tried squinting his eyes. Uninterrupted, opaque blackness was all the room seemed to contain. He was about to close the door and move along when an arm suddenly reached out from the murkiness, wrapped around the back of his neck, and pulled him inside. He stumbled a few steps before becoming aware of his surroundings. The darkness was no longer complete, and he realized that he was standing in what appeared to be the sitting area of a luxurious hotel suite. The room seemed mostly unadorned and was not readily familiar to him. He turned around and made note of the fact that the door through which he had just entered was no longer there. A small, overweight man in spectacles stood a few paces away, wringing his hands and muttering to himself. This man was blocking a second darkened doorway, and appeared extremely agitated by Kaiba's presence. He too, was completely naked.

"Wakefield?" Seto asked, now completely bewildered by the fact that he was dreaming about his personal accountant. He certainly had no clue as to why he was dreaming about the man naked, and he tried hard to convince his sleeping self that right now would be a good time to wake up.

The man jumped a little at the sound of his name, causing his toupee to fall slightly askew. "Um...you - you'll never take me alive?" Wakefield stammered, not meeting the taller man's eyes.

"Was that a question?" Seto asked with a wry grin. He blinked, and a gun appeared in his hand, pointed at the trembling figure before him. "I guess not. So which one of us is the villain in this little scenario?" He waved the gun, indicating them both. This couldn't be what Yami had meant by his cryptic words.

Wakefield cringed. "You won't take him away from me; he's mine." The balding man drew himself up to his full five feet six inches and lifted his chin in defiance. Seto half expected him to twirl an invisible mustache.

"Now we're getting somewhere. Who's this HE?"

As if on cue, a bored sounding voice drifted from an open doorway behind the accountant, "Help. Oh help. Someone save me." Kaiba frowned. He knew that voice... "Won't someone brave and handsome come to my rescue? Please hurry, for I am at the mercy of an evil genius." A pause, then a loud yawn. "Quickly, before he has his wicked way with me."

Seto's jaw dropped. "Wh - you've GOT to be kidding me. WHEELER!"

"Oh hey! Is that you Moneybags?" the voice chuckled. "Well hurry up, man. My uh, maidenhood is in jeopardy here." There was another pause. "Christ, who writes this stuff? Can't you have a normal dream?"

Wakefield apparently took Seto's distraction as a positive sign, and attempted to tackle his employer. The man rushed at him, head lowered, and impacted with the CEO's firmly muscled midriff. Seto grunted lightly, but didn't budge an inch. Rolling his eyes, he brought the handle of the gun down on the back of the accountant's head with a satisfying thunk. He'd never imagined how good that would feel. He must have been pissed about his taxes without even realizing it. Wakefield collapsed without a sound, his body coming to rest in a fetal position. Kaiba dropped the gun on a nearby sofa and took one long stride over the prone form.

"I have vanquished the evil accountant, and am riding to your rescue. Fear not, fair damsel."

"Just cut the crap and get in here."

Seto grinned to himself and stepped through the darkened portal. "If you're in there tied to a railroad track, I'm going to seriously consider consulting a psychiatrist."

He heard Joey's sarcastic snort, and turned his head toward the sound. "Like it's news to anyone that you're cracked."

As his vision adjusted to the darkness, he felt a slow leer creep across his face. "Well, well. Look what we have here." Seto peered down at the figure sprawled on the plush four-poster bed before him. Joey Wheeler, naked as the day he was born and tied spread-eagled on top of the coverlet, returned the brunet's assessing gaze, seemingly nonplussed by his situation.

"Took you long enough." Joey eyed the impressive erection the other teen was prominently displaying. He raised his eyes to Kaiba's face and smirked. "But, at least you brought me something." He squirmed. "Now untie me. My hands are falling asleep." Kaiba just looked at him. "Oh, do NOT go there." Once again, he received no reaction other than a raised eyebrow. "You kinky bastard, you." The blond sounded impressed.

Seto climbed onto the bed and straddled the other boy, caressing up and down the prone body as he slowly lowered himself. He noted with satisfaction that he completely covered the smaller boy's body with his own. "This is MY dream after all. I think I should be the one giving the orders, don't you?"

Joey thought about that for a moment. "You can GIVE orders till you're blue in the face; that doesn't mean I'm gonna follow 'em."

Seto leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the hollow of Joey's throat, a brush of lips against the pulse beating strong in the other's neck. He trailed the kiss upwards to end it at the corner of slightly parted lips. Sitting back on his haunches, he released a long, exasperated sigh. He reached up and began untying the knots that secured Joey's arms to the headboard. "Amazing. Even in my dreams you seem to go out of your way to irritate me."

"Maybe I'm just incredibly immature; didja think of that?"

Seto smirked. "I'm not unaware of that fact, Mutt."

Joey drew his brows together. "Well, then maybe I just like having all your attention on me." The brunet froze in the middle of untying the second knot. The blond, seeing this subtle yet obviously flustered reaction, crooked a grin at the boy above him. "Think about it. It's not exactly like you have pigtails that I can pull."

Kaiba gave the barest nod as he resumed his actions. "So I'm to assume, based on the behavioural equivalent of an eight-year-old, that the spitball I found in my hair yesterday means you're attracted to me?"

Joey shifted his gaze away from the other boy. "Um...the spitball was Tristan." He suddenly brightened. "I'm the one who tied your shoelaces together! Oh, and the gum on your seat, that was me too. And the - "

"Enough! I get the picture; you like me."

"Yeah, I guess I do." He frowned, sitting up to rub at his wrists while Seto turned to take care of the knots around Joey's ankles. "Funny how the brain works sometimes, ain't it?"

A snort. "Very. Now I have confirmation that my mind is capable of rationalizing anything."

Joey frowned at the brunet's back. "No, you're not seein' the big picture here, Kaiba." He waited to continue until the other teen had turned back to face him. "This isn't just some hormone driven fantasy or that oversized brain of yours trying to blow off steam. Try puttin' two and two together, why dontcha?" He got up and began to pace the room as Seto leaned back on the bed, enjoying the show. Joey waved his hands in the air for emphasis. "Read between the lines. Get a clue. Buy a vowel..."

"While I'm sure this is all incredibly fascinating on some level, this is MY dream after all. If you don't mind, I'd like to get to the wet part of it now."

The blond stopped pacing and rolled his eyes at the figure on the bed. "Fine. Have it your way."

That infuriating smirk reappeared. "I usually do."

Joey stood with his hands on his hips, giving the brunet a flat stare. "If you insist on ignorin' what I'm tryin' to drill into that thick skull of yours, it's just goin' to come back and bite you on the ass."

"I like the sound of that too."

The other boy chuckled in spite of himself. "You're naughty. I so dig that about you."

Seto lifted one leg and placed his foot flat on the bed. "Do you know what I find most irritating about you, Wheeler?"

Brown eyes shifted to the junction of the other teen's widespread legs, then back to his face. "No, but I bet you're gonna tell me."

He idly stroked the hardened flesh between his thighs, all the while holding the smaller boy's undivided attention with his lust-filled gaze. "You're just so damned distracting." Seto arched his back, licking his lips as he uttered a soft moan. "I really hate losing my focus..."

Joey growled and climbed back onto the bed. He knelt between the other teen's legs and gave him a pointed look. "You can't stay asleep forever, y'know." He gave an involuntary shudder. "Profound, huh?"

Seto had the uncomfortable feeling that he wasn't going to be able to stop thinking about this even when he awoke. The notion that this little flight of fancy might serve no purpose other than to make him want the real thing even more flitted briefly across his preoccupied mind. But then, any and all thought went flying right out of the window as Joey leaned down and wrapped his mouth around Seto's erection. "Oh fuck yes," he heard himself say as oh-so-gentle teeth ran over the head of his length. He gave what he considered to be an embarrassingly high-pitched whine when Joey took him most of the way into his mouth and held him there. This was too much. His head flopped back on the pillows and he gave himself over completely. He fisted both hands in the coverlet and forcibly restrained himself from thrusting upwards. Although he was well aware that this was his own private fantasy, he didn't doubt for a second that his dream tormentor would be thoroughly displeased with him for that. Joey took him deep and sucked hard. He kissed the shaft, feather-light and then ran his tongue along the vein pulsing hard on the underside. He did things with his mouth that even a porn star would be embarrassed to admit they knew. Seto was in heaven. His moans became continuous and gradually rose in volume as Joey's hands travelled up from his thighs and dug in hard, holding Seto's hips in place.

Unable to resist temptation any longer, Seto raised his head and gazed down at the blond mane bobbing in his lap. Joey tilted his head the smallest fraction and glazed blue eyes met mischievous brown. Seeing those full lips encasing his arousal caused Seto's stomach to lurch and he was instantaneously about to come harder than he ever had in his life. "Oh God, don't stop..." He tried his best to prolong it, but the need for completion was rapidly becoming overwhelming...

It was about this time that he glanced down and noticed his feet were on fire.

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Duke blinked. "So you're telling me you fell asleep underneath a tree, and you woke up with fire ants all over your feet?"

Seto buried his face into his hands and rubbed his fingertips along his temples. "That's exactly what I'm telling you, you imbecile. Which part is the most difficult for you to understand?"

Joey growled, bringing back unwelcome images and with them, unwanted activity in his groin. "Watch it, Moneybags. Injured or not, you're about to treat yourself to a fat lip courtesy of one Joey Wheeler."

"Ease off, Joe. He's a had a rough day." The green-eyed teen placed a calming hand on the back of Joey's neck. He lightly stroked the skin at the blond's hairline as Seto's eyes narrowed. What exactly was going on between those two? Why did he care? Duke scratched his head and pondered the other's teen's predicament. "So you sent your limo driver home with the rest of the day off, you said?" A terse nod. "And where's your cell phone again?"

Seto ground his teeth together. "I left it IN the limo. How many times do I have to repeat myself?"

"Whoa. Don't get all pissy with me, man. I'm the one trying to help here." More head scratching. "You know, none of this explains what the hell happened to your hair."

Seto blanched. "My hair...?" He reached one hand up and felt the sticky mess on top of his head. "Tree sap," he snarled, daring either of them to laugh. Joey pressed his face into Duke's shoulder and murmured something that Seto didn't quite catch. He was really starting to dislike the touchy-feely vibe he was picking up from the two teenagers.

Duke eyed the CEO up and down with a smug grin on his face. "I don't know man, he'd probably look hot even if he WERE bald." Kaiba pretended to ignore the comment, and was determined not to fidget under the green-eyed gaze. After another moment or two of intensely studying the brunet, Duke crossed his arms and gave a frustrated sigh. "I'd suggest driving you home, but my car's parked at least six blocks from here. Eveyone's out of the house today so this whole street's pretty much blocked off. I don't think you're capable of walking that far in your condition, anyway." He turned to the blond. "You got any other suggestions?" Joey scuffed his feet and mumbled something unintelligible.

"Speak, Mutt. I don't have all day to wait here and watch you learn a new trick. My patience is even more limited than usual."

"Time's about the only thing you got goin' for you at the moment, you prick. I'd watch that smart mouth if I were you." Joey shoved his hands in his front pockets and stared at his feet. "What I said was, my apartment's less than two blocks from here. We could take the big jerk there, patch him up a little, and call him a cab or something." For a change, Joey wasn't particularly concerned about dragging someone home with him. No sign of the old man this morning meant his dad had hit a winning streak with his ill-gotten gains. If his luck at the tables had gone sour, he would have staggered in drunk and taken his anger out on Joey last night. With any luck on Joey's part, he wouldn't be subject to his father's wrath again until the winnings ran out. He glanced up, a grimace contorting his features. "I'm not particularly fond of the idea myself, but I ain't seein' any alternative at the moment."

To everyone's surprise, Kaiba agreed to this plan with little hesitation. He desperately wanted everything in his life back to normal as quickly as possible. "Fine. But first, I have to get back to the park and tell Mokuba what's happened." He fluttered his hands impatiently. "Help me up." Joey rolled his eyes at the CEO's rude behaviour, but with some effort on all their parts, he and Duke soon had the taller boy up on his feet and supported between them.

The black-haired teen quirked an eyebrow at the injured billionaire. "Why didn't you just find Mokuba on your way out of the park?" "Was that a blush?" he wondered. "Nah, it couldn't be."

Seto gave them both his most disdainful sneer before answering, "I woke up somewhat...confused." Joey produced an obnoxious-sounding noise in the back of his throat.

"And with one hell of an impressive boner," Duke thought to himself. He wasn't ashamed to admit that the prominent bulge was one of the first things he had noticed when he spotted the disoriented teen. He knew there was more to the story than Kaiba was letting on, and it made him practically giddy with curiosity. He resolved to dig until he got to the bottom of it; his meddling nature would never let him rest otherwise. Bemused, he shook his head and turned his attention back to Kaiba's explanation.

"After I made my way through the woods, I wasn't immediately aware of where I had come out. It was rather...disconcerting."

Joey laughed out loud at this. "No shit. You looked like you'd just had your ass handed to you." Deep in thought for a moment, he said wistfully, "Fire ants, what a riot. Too bad I wasn't there to see it. I bet you squealed like a girl."

Seto didn't immediately respond to this, though Duke could have sworn he saw the blush make a brief reappearance on pale cheekbones. "Can we just get moving? Since this is technically all your fault Wheeler, I'd think you would try to be a little more circumspect." Joey's face immediately flushed purple and his hands clenched into white-knuckled fists. He trembled hard and, due to their close proximity, it was nearly enough to rattle the taller boy's teeth. Seto was completely taken aback by the other's furious reaction. As insults go, he'd dished out much harsher and with milder results than this.

Duke reached a hand behind the CEO's back and touched the side of Joey's face with his fingertips. It seemed to get his attention. "Circum-SPECT, Joe; not circum-CISED."

He deflated a bit when he heard his friend's explanation. "Oh. OK." He gave Seto an embarrassed grin. "I guess you're right. If I hadn't screwed up your boots, you wouldn't have gotten into any of this mess." Kaiba didn't bother to correct his assessment. "I... I'm really sorry about that." He stared straight ahead fixedly as he ground out the apology, his left eye twitching a bit.

Duke found all this interaction very intriguing. "Sorry to interrupt the warm fuzzies but we should get a move-on, don't you think?" He gave the teen in the middle a gentle nudge, and they set off at a stumbling pace toward Domino City Park.

As they walked, Seto tried very hard to ignore the warm, lean body pressed so close to his own. With every hobbling step the three of them took, he became more and more aware of strong muscles flexing under taut skin, and the firm, calloused grasp enclosing his own hand. With his right arm thrown over the blond's shoulders, he felt every movement they made together, enjoying every ripple as he towered over the other's smaller frame. He surreptitiously lowered his head and leaned his weight more heavily on his right side. Joey grunted under the additional burden, but didn't falter as they made their halting way down the street. Pleased with himself, Seto tilted his face to inhale the mixed scents of the boy whose body was molded against his own. He detected the faint odor of cigarette smoke, along with shampoo, soap, and sun-warmed flesh. The heady mix caused his undiminished erection to give a noticeable twitch. Wincing, he quickly resumed his faintly irritated facade and focused on placing one painfully stinging foot in front of the other.

They were halfway to their destination when Joey suddenly threw up a hand and called a halt to their march. "What's wrong, man?" Duke asked.

He made no reply, but shrugged Seto's arm off of his shoulder and stepped several paces away from the other two boys. "Oh god...oh no..."

Realization dawned on the brunet, and he made a wry face. "He's about to sneeze. I'd advise you to take cover."

"Oh please...no...ahhhh..."

It took every ounce of Seto's self control not to groan out loud at the noises the blond was making. He bit his tongue and fought off random images from his earlier interrupted dream. He was starting to sweat with the effort of concealing his hyper-aroused state.

"Ah shit...ohhh..."

"Look up at the sun and say "cow" over and over," Duke blurted out.

In unison, Kaiba and Joey both gawked at him and exclaimed, "WHAT!"

"Trust me; it'll stop your sneeze." He sent the two of them a mulish glare. "Just do it."

"That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life." Joey rotated his eyes upwards and began chanting, "Cow, cow, cow..." After a few more repetitions of this, he looked back down, wriggling his nose. "Holy shit, it worked."

"Far be it from me to say I told you so, but..."

Joey punched his friend in the shoulder affectionately. "You're the coolest, Duke. Thanks."

Seto was more than ready to get off the roller coaster of emotions he had been riding since this morning. His feet throbbed, he had a painfully unfulfilled erection controlling most of his actions, his clothes and hair were an absolute mess, and he felt he was just on the verge of giggling like a madman. It was almost exhilarating, this not knowing exactly what would happen next. He wanted to throw Joey down on the ground and kiss him senseless; he wanted to punch Devlin's lights out for touching the blond so intimately; he wanted to be allowed to join in their teasing banter, and laugh at their antics together. He felt light-headed, as though any of these possibilities were acceptable, and choosing one of them should be the simplest thing in the world. He was snapped out of his reverie as he realized the other two teens were both staring at him in concern. He affixed his standard "holier than thou" expression to his face and growled, "What?"

Joey looked more perplexed than usual. "Um, I just asked if you were ready to head out again?"

Seto straightened his shoulders and allowed the blond to slip an arm back around him. It felt warm and comforting, but he resisted the urge to snuggle closer. As they continued their slow trek, he let his thoughts drift a bit as he mused on the day's strange occurrences. He couldn't help but wonder what else this innocuous-seeming Spring day held in store for him. The gates of Domino City Park appeared around the corner, and Seto froze in his tracks, Duke and Joey coming to a stop along either side of him.

"Devlin?"

"Yeah, Kaiba?"

"Get your hand off my ass."

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tbc

NOTES:

Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Chapter 4 is my favourite so far, despite the fact that it remained stubbornly stuck in my head for a frustrating amount of time. Probably that damned not-lemon in the middle that did it to me. (sighs) I'll get better before it's time for the REAL hot and heavy action - I promise. Those of you reading this on "the pit of voles" will most likely have to bop on over to (some other fanfiction archive I'm not allowed to mention here) for the boi-smut, but I promise I'll give you a link and a little warning beforehand: Or you can always email me. :-)

I'd like to take a moment to personally thank each and every person who took the time to submit a review:

markyc58 - My first reviewer AND you hit me up 3X! So - thank you thank you thank you! I'm delighted to hear that you're getting into this and that you think I'm doing a great job with the characterization. That's a very fine compliment indeed. Not trying to be smug (who me?) or anything, but I think I'm getting better at this too! The ideas and the writing itself seem to be flowing easier now, and I'm more and more excited about every chapter! I hope chapter 4 answered all of your questions about what may have happened to our favourite boy billionaire. :-P I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm sure he'll think it was ALL worth it by the time I'm done with him. Chapter 5 is on a roll, and will be up soon-ish!

Saikki-Dono - I know first hand. It really DOES suck to have hayfever. Call it a Joey Sue-ism, but since I have allergies, he does too. (smirks) Thanks for the review, I hope you'll stick with me - we're only about halfway done now, I think!

WheresMyBagel - I'm curious to know. Was it an "everything" bagel? Those are my favourite. (snorts) Like you've never heard THAT one before... I have to tell you. One of the best compliments I can get is hearing that I made someone laugh! Just because it's funny in my own sick and twisted head, doesn't always mean that it's gonna translate well to the page/screen. I'm glad you got the humour in this. As Yu-Gi-Oh fics go, I'm new to the fandom myself, but so far, it's been a lot of fun to read AND write in. You simply MUST try it yourself. I insist.

crowincarnate315 - You wish is my command. Here is your MORE! Hope you liked it, and thanks for the review!

Hikari Raine - I can't wait to see what happens next too! Seriously. This is written for a Spring challenge at ADL, and I'm totally flying by the seat of my pants here. I'm never certain where I'm going with it, but I'm glad you're liking what I've come up with so far!

IceWitch17 - Fear not. More is being written as we speak. Er, type. Whatever. Hope this chapter will tide you over. I'm grateful you took the time and effort to leave me a review letting me know you enjoyed it! Reviews keep me writing! It means someone out there is actually reading it!

Jade & Kitty - I'm deeply saddned to hear about the tragic accident resulting in the loss of your friend's butt. Where should I send the pillow? She's gonna need it. I agree with you wholeheartedly. Boogers are almost always funny. As I write this, I am formulating a plan to work both Bakura AND a fart joke into chapter 5. We'll just have to wait and see how it comes out, ne?

clarity - Thank you so much for the kind review! I've hopefully fixed the problems with chapter 2 and maybe will stop giving me grief about it. Thanks for letting me know it was screwy!

csrg - A 2X reviewer! It warms my heart to know you enjoyed my fic enough to review it not just once, but TWICE! I'm all gooey and squishy inside now. It really thrilled me that you think I've done a good job writing Seto IC. It's a struggle to do, and just like every author that's ever written a Seto/Jou fic, I'm having the WORST time keeping him from going all mushy-goo-goo on me. He's gotta be a bastard up to the very end, or I just don't buy it. He's just not a rainbows and butterflies kind of guy, you know? BTW, don't you just love a good cliffhanger? I sure do. I hope chapter 4 took you off the edge of your seat. Everyone's been SO worried about poor Seto...

Starr and her Yami Brooke - Another two-timer! Oh wait. That sounded bad. Anyway... you just keep that little foam bat to yourself, ok? I swear to god, I'm writing just as fast as I can! In the meantime, I hope the exams went OK, and I wanted to thank you for your review. It's always nice to hear that I'm actually entertaining someone out there. Oh, and their psychotic other personality as well. The boi-smut is on it's way. I gave everyone a little taste of what is to come with this chapter, but the real action will probably require a move to (again, I'm not allowed to mention it here but you've probably heard of it). I've already posted what I've got so far over there, and I haven't yet decided if I'm going to come up with a "milder" version of the hot stuff to put up here. Still thinking about it. I promise that as soon as I wrap up this fic (it's gotta be done by the end of April! (gulps)) I will take the time to go and read your fic! Right now, I'm pulling my hair out trying to figure out how I'm gonna get this written and beta'ed all before the deadline. A time-turner would be nice...

FireieGurl - Poor Joey indeed. I hope Duke's solution continues to work for him. It always does for me. Thanks for the review! Hope you're enjoying the rest of the chapters!

Fox-Forbidden-Child - Short and to the point. I like that. Consider your request fulfilled. Until the next time. Thank you 2X! I'm writing this as fast as my little fingers can type. Glad you liked it! (pants)

SetoKaibaWheeler - Augh! Here you go! Thanks for dropping me a line!

Chapter 5 posting soon-ish crosses fingers I hope!

Peace,

CJ

04/21/05


	5. Chapter 5 Reunited

Title: A Love / Hate Relationship With Spring - Chapter 5?

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M (Sorry ladies, this chapter is tame)

Pairing(s): Seto/Joey, hints of Tristan/Duke, small insinuations of Tea/Yugi - maybe more. I said MAYBE. Step off.

Beta: Jennie B. (She's bigger than Jesus now!)

Spoilers: None (unless Seto and Joey actually DO start getting it on in the anime series, in which case I will stop writing fanfiction and get Tivo)

Disclaimer: Are you serious? Oh, OK. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, I just twist it around and use it for my own perverted satisfaction. Don't look at me like that. I'm not the only one. points finger You're reading this, after all.

Summary: Joey Wheeler has no shortage of reasons to hate the season of flowers, butterflies, and rebirth. Can someone unexpected give him a reason to enjoy it as well?

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WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES...

Seto straightened his shoulders and allowed the blond to slip an arm back around him. It felt warm and comforting, but he resisted the urge to snuggle closer. As they continued their slow trek, he let his thoughts drift a bit as he mused on the day's strange occurrences. He couldn't help but wonder what else this innocuous-seeming Spring day held in store for him. The gates of Domino City Park appeared around the corner, and Seto froze in his tracks, Duke and Joey coming to a stop alongside him.

"Devlin?"

"Yeah, Kaiba?"

"Get your hand off my ass."

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Chapter 5:

The three teenagers made their slow, deliberate way through the park while Joey regaled them with the tale of "The Fateful, Boot-Drenching Sneeze". Seto was surprised to learn that Joey was a gifted story-teller, despite his embellishments. He suppressed a grin. Or perhaps it was because of them. Regardless of the fact that he was still inwardly fuming over the incident, he found the other boy's version of the events amusing. He was also finding it increasingly difficult to stifle his laughter. He tried to mask his dilemma by focusing on defending himself from Devlin's roving hands. It had taken several more particularly dire threats to convince Duke to keep his hands to himself, but the result was only temporary - well, as far as he was concerned, anyway. The black-haired teen soon sought out more tolerant prey. Seto ground his teeth together. He was NOT jealous. The very notion was ridiculous.

"Ow!" Joey rubbed his backside as he glared over at Duke. Seemingly oblivious, the other teen stared at his fingernails with interest. "Stop pinchin' me, or I swear to God I'll tell Tris what you said about his dick."

Duke inhaled sharply and froze, bringing the other two boys to a lurching stop. "You wouldn't DARE!"

"Oh yeah? Try me."

Duke's tone turned pleading. "C'mon Joey! You know I was totally wasted when I said that!"

"In vino veritas(1)..." Seto murmured to himself.

Joey gawked. "Holy shit! I think Moneybags here just made a joke!"

Now it was Seto's turn to gawk. He was taken aback by the fact that not only had the mutt understood the reference, but that he had interpreted it correctly. The realization left him momentarily flustered. It seemed that the more time he spent around Joey Wheeler, the more his assumptions about the blond were challenged. He struggled to make his voice as brusque as possible and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I had inadvertently lapsed into canine. I thought I was speaking Latin."

Joey opened his mouth, intending to let loose with both barrels, but an hysterical Duke interrupted him, "I don't care if he moonlights as a fucking stand-up comedian! I was drunk and what I said was taken completely out of context! Do you hear me? Out - of - context!" he panted, wild-eyed and out of breath. "Joseph Wheeler, if you have even the tiniest SPECK of a soul, you will never in a million years tell Tristan - "

"Tell me what?"

Duke shrieked and vaulted a good three feet in the air as a heavy hand came down on his shoulder. Bewildered by Duke's strange reaction, Tristan stumbled backwards, landing on his rear in the middle of the path. With his weight no longer supported on the left side, Seto found himself unable to get his feet under him in time. He fell to the ground with a muffled curse, Joey sprawled on top of him. The smaller boy levered himself up on his hands and looked down into Seto's face anxiously. "Oh man, are you OK?" He worriedly scanned the brunet's face, looking for signs of further injury. Suddenly, he became aware of something pressing against his leg... "Uh, Kaiba?"

Seto abruptly ceased any and all movements. He swallowed hard. "It's my cell phone."

"But you said your cell phone's in the limo and - "

Without thinking, Kaiba roughly shoved Joey off his chest. The blond let out a startled "Oomph!" and rolled over in the dust to land on his back. He quickly regained his feet and glared at Kaiba from under a wrinkled brow. He swiped half-heartedly at the dirt and debris on his clothing, never taking his eyes off the other boy who still lay on the ground. If Seto hadn't automatically believed he was imagining it, he would have said that Joey's feelings had been hurt. He shrugged off such laughable notions, and cautiously stood up under his own power. Duke, apparently recovered from his fright, eased his shoulder under Seto's left arm again, smiling apologetically up at the disgruntled CEO. He then whirled on Tristan and scolded, "Don't be sneaking up on me like that!"

Tristan made a face. "I wasn't sneaking. You're just so enchanted with the sound of your own voice that you didn't hear me." He wrapped his arm around Joey's neck. "Hey pal, I was just coming to look for you." He glanced over at the other two teens. "Looks like you picked up some baggage on your way back."

Duke bristled. "Hey - !"

Seto rolled his eyes. "He was referring to ME, you nitwit."

"Yeah, well THAT," Joey inclined his head in their general direction, "is a long story involvin' Twinkies, fire ants, tree sap, and uh, lost cell phones..." He sighed. "We're basically trying to track down Mokuba and get Kaiba here back to my place for a little first aid. You seen the kid recently?"

"Yeah, I saw him just a few minutes ago. He's probably moved on to a better hiding spot by now, though." Tristan took a step backwards as Seto growled and made a sudden move in his direction. "Hey, take it easy big guy. He wasn't hiding from ME."

Kaiba clenched his fists and glared at each of them in turn. "I want an explanation and I want it NOW. Where is my brother and why is he hiding?"

Joey waved his hand at the brunet dismissively. "Ignore him. He's having his Monday on a Saturday this week. Didja ever get your fifty bucks outta the little punk?"

Tristan looked peeved. "No. That's how this whole mess got started. I must've spun that merry-go-round fast enough to break the sound barrier, but I didn't even get him dizzy, much less make him toss his cookies. That kid's just not human." He reached over and whapped Kaiba on the back solidly. "You should be proud of that kid brother of yours, Kaiba. He's got one hell of a strong stomach."

"Pfff, I could've told you THAT," Joey interjected. "He wins every round of "What Will YOU Eat for a Dollar?" That kid's gonna be rich in his own right some day if he keeps it up."

At first, Seto was appalled at the conversation he was overhearing regarding his brother. It slowly dawned on him that both boys were speaking of his younger sibling in terms of fondness and affection. It seemed surreal to realize that others actively sought out Mokuba's companionship and, that his brother had obviously been cultivating friendships with Seto's rivals for some time. His stomach clenched as it occurred to him that he may be guilty of many of the same crimes as his stepfather, Gozaburo. Seto kept Mokuba close to him at all times, and treated him as a peer, an equal; not as a family member. Mokuba was his constant shadow, always at his side for corporate mergers, business dinners, board meetings. When did he ever get the chance to be a thirteen year-old boy? "Oh God, " he thought despairingly, "He's going to turn out just like me." With the unrelenting force of a crashing wave, Seto was nearly brought to his knees by one simple fact striking home in his brain: It wasn't that Seto was the only person who cared for Mokuba - it seemed that Mokuba was the only one who cared about HIM. He kept control of his runaway emotions by the barest of margins, and at that very moment, he wanted nothing more than to be back under the oak tree, dreaming uninterrupted and shutting out his bitter reality. Seto Kaiba was no stranger to adversity however, and his well-honed iron control would see him through these strange times. He was certain of it.

The other teens seemed oblivious to the epiphany occurring in their midst with the exception of Joey, who kept sneaking quick glances at the tall brunet, wondering what was going on in that brilliant head. For a moment, Kaiba's usually stern face had been contorted with such a heartbreaking blend of amazement and grief, it had taken all of Joey's willpower not to go over and wrap the other boy in a comforting hug. "Hug Kaiba?" He mentally smacked himself. "Where'd THAT thought come from?" He gave himself a good, firm shake before turning his attention back to the matter at hand. "OK. If Mokuba's off hidin' somewhere, let's just go track him down. Shouldn't be too difficult, right?"

"It's not that simple anymore." Tristan looked worried.

Duke rounded on his boyfriend, "Shit Tristan! What did you DO?"

Tristan flung his arms up in exasperation. "Why do you automatically assume it was me?"

"Because I KNOW you!"

The two boys were nose to nose, their heated exchange sure to escalate into blows at any second. Kaiba instinctively began to reprimand them, "You two need to - " He cut off in mid-sentence when the two teens collided in a passionate kiss, Tristan wrapping his arms around Duke's neck and moaning loudly. " - get a room," he finished, now thoroughly bewildered. From his uncomfortably close vantage point, he could easily tell that both Taylor and Devlin were willing participants in the exchange; there was an embarrassing amount of tongue involved, and Seto felt himself flush scarlet at the observation. He tried to pull his gaze away, but areas south of his brain were still attempting to run the show independent of rational thought. Forcibly jerking his head away from the captivating scene, he turned to look at Joey, expecting the blond to be apoplectic with rage. Instead, he found the other boy leaning casually against a lamp post, arms crossed over his chest and rolling his eyes fondly at his two oblivious friends.

Joey quirked an eyebrow when he noticed Kaiba observing him with an astounded expression. "What's with the fish face?" He straightened and strode over to his previous spot at Kaiba's right side. He heaved the brunet's numb arm over his shoulder and presented him with a teasing smile. "And here I thought I was the last one to know about those two..."

"But - I was - I thought... you and Devlin... " Seto let his voice trail off, all too aware of how foolish he sounded.

Joey laughed. "Not a chance! Dice-Boy's too high maintenance."

"I heard that."

"You did? Even with Tristan's tongue shoved in your ear?" Joey shook his head in mock wonder. "That's amazing." He leaned across Seto's back and gave the green-eyed boy a light shove. "Knock it off you two. We've still got a man down here, and no one's told me what the hell happened to Mokuba yet."

Tristan reluctantly pulled away from nibbling on Duke's neck and began rubbing a hand nervously through his hair. "Well, it's like this y'see; Mokuba wasn't the only one on the merry-go-round..."

"OK.. And...?" Joey prompted.

"Yugi and I both told him he should get off the damn thing! It's not my fault!" Tristan blurted, wringing his hands.

"Told who!" Duke asked, frustrated by Tristan's disjointed explanation. "Tris, you're not making any sense!"

"He said he just wanted to prove a point to Bakura; I thought he'd get off if he started feeling sick..."

"You DIDN'T!" Joey was horrified. "You made Ryou puke!"

Duke gasped and clapped a hand over his mouth.

Tristan hung his head in shame. "It was horrible! Everything seemed fine at first; Mokuba was all laughing and egging me on; Yugi was cheering, and then all of a sudden chunks started flying everywhere..." His voice dropped to an awed whisper. "He never even made a sound." He looked up at them with pleading, hazel eyes. "The next thing I knew, Tea was screaming at me and Ryou was just lying there clutching his stomach and moaning... I think Yugi may have been in shock or something. But Mokuba, he thought it was the coolest thing EVER." Tristan shuddered. "He said it was a remarkable example of centipede - no, that's not it - " He scrunched his forehead in thought. "Central fungus - no..."

Seto made an exasperated noise. "Centrifugal force?"

The other brunet snapped his fingers and pointed at Seto. "Yes! That was it! He said he was impressed that Ryou had held out for so long, and gave HIM the fifty bucks!" Tristan seemed insulted by this. "Anyway, it all went downhill from there. Bakura took over and said he was going home to get the gun Ryou's dad had got him for his birthday and - "

"WHAT!" Seto screamed, lunging at the other boy again.

Restraining the furious Kaiba took a great deal of effort on both boys' parts but Duke and Joey managed to hold him back long enough for the blond to get through to him. "Calm down, Kaiba." He grasped the snarling CEO's chin and turned his head toward him. "Hey! Focus here, willya? Ryou got the Super Soaker Flash Flood for his birthday last month." He looked into the taller boy's uncomprehending eyes and smiled reassuringly. "It's a water gun."

Seto felt foolish yet again. "I see." He felt the tingling impressions of Joey's fingertips long after they were gone from his skin.

Tristan whipped his head back and forth between the two of them, assuring himself it was safe to continue. "So anyway, after he left we just messed around for a little while, hoping he'd cool off by the time he got back." He shrugged. "I guess we were all expecting Ryou to talk him down, but I think maybe HE was pretty pissed off too." He grunted in annoyance. "I don't know why; he got fifty bucks out of it." He took a look around him. "Hey, we should be getting back to the rest of the gang. Yugi sent me to get Joey for reinforcements, but I've been gone a good, long while now." He glanced behind himself fretfully.

Duke tapped his foot impatiently. "Is that IT? What happened after THAT? You haven't really explained anything other than the fact that you're a complete idiot!"

"Don't start in on me, Devlin. I'm not in the mood for your shit right now." Tristan grinned roguishly at the black-haired teen. "You can start in on me later when we're alone, deal?"

Seto was beginning to lose his temper. He was tired of being in pain, overwhelmed, embarrassed and constantly confused. Coupled with the strange sensations the mutt's proximity were causing, he was rapidly nearing the boiling point. "For the love of GOD, won't somebody just tell me where to find my brother! I don't need ANY of this shit! I don't need your help, I don't want to hear any more about vomiting or Super Soakers, and I'm sick to DEATH of all of your disgusting flirting!" He panted heavily, fumbling to extricate himself from the two teenagers supporting him.

Joey instantly leaped forward to grab Kaiba's elbow before he could fall again. "Whoa there, Tex. I think you might need to sit down for minute or two and relax. Temper tantrums aren't really your style; maybe you're havin' some kind of reaction to those fire ant bites or somethin'." The blond reached a hand over to feel Seto's forehead. "Man Kaiba, I never would've pegged you as a homophobe or anythin' like that."

Seto smacked Joey's hand away and huffed indignantly. "I'm certainly NOT. In fact, I'm gay. I just don't think - " He blinked at the trio of stunned faces. "What? Oh give me a break. I was outed by the press YEARS ago. Where the hell have you morons been?" He frowned in irritation. "Look. As much as I detest having to explain myself to the likes of you three, I'm really NOT feeling like myself at the moment. Can we please just go and find my brother so I can ditch you losers and get back to my normal, sane life?"

A wry grin twisted Joey's face. "Well, at least he said please."

Tristan swept his arm in a grand gesture, indicating the path before him. "Ladies first. But let it be known I'm not going to be held responsible for what happens if Bakura finds you. That crazy tomb robber is on the warpath, and I'm running for the hills the second I lay eyes on him. You guys are on your own."

Joey angled a kick at his best friend's rear. "Whatever happened to "no man gets left behind", huh?"

The brunet held his arms apart in a guileless gesture, indicating his lack of blame. "Screw that. I'm using you guys as a decoy. Besides, you've got yourselves a serious liability with Mr. High and Mighty there. Bakura can smell blood a mile away." He saluted them. "It was nice knowing you."

Duke grumbled. "If he gets me, you are SO cut off..."

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The four of them continued on the main thoroughfare which led to the more centralized areas of the park, Tristan jumping skittishly at every noise that emanated from the tree-lined path. They took a left onto a somewhat overgrown trail that led to a secluded playground, Tristan taking point as the walkway narrowed. Their destination was one of the group's favourite spots in the entire park. Shady in the heat of the summer and frequently deserted, the remote playground contained some of Domino City Park's older equipment, including the merry-go-round. It was the perfect hangout for a gathering of teenagers; far away from noisy children and nosy adults. Unfortunately, it was also the perfect site for an ambush. And they all knew it.

As they neared the large clearing, Tristan indicated that they should slow their pace and approach with caution. He held up one hand, palm outward, and proceeded to mimic numerous gestures that Joey suspected his friend learned from watching too much television. None of them had any idea what he was trying to convey.

"Good grief, Tris, we're not IN a robot ninja movie! Just stick your head around the corner and - AAAAAAAAA!" Joey screeched in fright as a hand shot out of the undergrowth and grabbed his ankle. The hand was soon followed by Mokuba's frowning face, one finger pressed urgently against his lips.

"SHHHHHH! He'll HEAR you!" The younger teen came out of hiding, covered in leaves, brush, and grass stains. "You guys sound like a herd of wounded bull elephants in heat." He gave them all a disparaging glare. "I managed to lose Bakura a ways back, but you dorks are gonna lead him right to me!" He took in Seto's current state, and his face purpled. "Hey! What'd you do to my brother!"

"It's alright Mokuba, I just had a run-in with some fire ants," Seto commented quietly. "Everything's fine. I just wanted to come find you before you started to worry." He smirked at his younger brother. "It seems that you've found your own helping of trouble, as well."

Mokuba beamed. "Yeah, it's great, isn't it? I'm having the BEST time!"

Duke snorted. "If being stalked by a psychotic, bloodthirsty spirit from ancient Egypt is your sick and twisted idea of fun." He leaned down and tousled Mokuba's already wild hair. "You are one spun cookie, kid." He then turned to face Seto and whined, "OK, we've found your brother and filled him in on the sitch. Can we make with our getaway now? These pants are leather. LEATHER. They don't like madmen with water guns."

"Guys look!" Tristan pointed across the clearing to the far side of the playground. "Over there! It's Tea and Yugi!"

The two teenagers had just emerged from behind a copse of trees near the sandbox. They were holding hands and looking a bit out of breath, but waved cheerfully when they spotted the other group. Even from a distance, Joey could tell the moment they had first noticed the rumpled CEO in their midst, his two friends were dying of curiosity. The pair hurried over, throwing caution to the wind in their haste to rejoin their friends. It was a costly mistake.

Joey watched the scene unfold as if in slow motion. As Tea and Yugi neared the halfway point of their scramble across the playground, Bakura stepped caually from behind a large tree. He placed himself directly in their path and aimed his oversized green blaster at chest level. The two teens pulled up short and gazed fearfully at the white-haired spirit. "Reach for the sky," he intoned solemnly.

Tea and Yugi unclasped their hands and held them up. Tea crinkled her face and closed her eyes tightly, already prepared for the worst.

"No sudden moves now. Keep those hands where I can see 'em, " Bakura warned.

Yugi leaned over and stage-whispered to Tea, "Quick! Wish him away to the cornfield!" Tea opened her eyes and peered over at her fellow hostage, perplexed. Yugi just goggled at her. "You've GOT to be kidding me! Hell - ooo!" He gazed heavenward, as though he were seeking assistance from above for his ignorant friend. "'The Twilight Zone?' Classic episode?" The girl only blinked at him. "Tea, do you even OWN a television?"

Bakura waved his water blaster menacingly. "That's enough of that, you two. Stay still." He cocked his head to the side and considered each of them in turn. "Now. Let's see... which one of you gets it first?" His dark expression transformed into a gleeful smile as he waggled the gun, switching his aim between the two petrified teens. "I know," he smirked. "Eeny, meeny, miney - "

"Mokuba!" Seto made a grab for his brother as the small boy darted out from safety.

"Over here, freak! See if you can hit a moving target!" Mokuba waved his arms and made a dash for tree cover.

It was just the distraction that Yugi needed. When Bakura shifted his attention to the younger Kaiba brother, Yugi made a grab for the barrel of the gun, tilting it up and away from him and Tea. Undeterred, Bakura's other hand shot out and released the valve on the Super Soaker's bottom reservoir. A high pressure stream of cold water struck Tea full in the chest. She gasped loudly and stood immobile for several seconds, staring down at her soaked clothing.

"Shit," Yugi groaned. "That seemed like such a good idea at the time." Tea turned her head in an unhurried arc to meet Yugi's worried stare. The smaller teen took one look at her face, swallowed hard, and promptly disappeared. A befuddled Yami was left in his place.

"Yugi? Aibou?" After receiving no reply, he released a put-upon sigh and glared at Bakura. "Tomb Robber. I should have known." Bakura made no reply other than to extend the middle finger of his left hand and present it to the pharaoh's scowling face.

Then Tea made her move. She lunged forward, wrenching the water gun out of Bakura's grasp and wrapping both her hands securely around the grip. She aimed it before her, slowly backing away from the two shocked boys.

Yami recovered first and cracked a smug smile. "We don't want any trouble, ma'am."

Bakura's eyes flitted down and back up to Tea's face. Then down again. A self-satisfied smirk appeared on his sharp features. "Nice rack you got there, Tea. They real?"

Tea sucked in a sharp breath. She hurriedly averted her eyes to sneak a quick glance down at her chest. Sure enough, the sleeveless white top she had donned this morning was rendered practically transparent by the soaking she had received. "Dammit Bakura!" Tea's face flushed a particularly vivid shade of crimson. She crossed her arms, desperately trying to hide what had been revealed to everyone's gaze. Sensing the danger was over for the moment, the group on the opposite side of the playground hurried over, dragging the hapless Kaiba along with them.

"Nice moves, Tea!" Mokuba shouted in appreciation. As he neared her position, his mouth dropped open, and he stumbled the last few steps. "Uh, great job, and uh... stuff."

Tea glowered. "I'm up HERE, Mokuba." She was about to give the thirteen year-old a tongue-lashing he'd never forget, when she noticed that everyone else had their eyes riveted to the same spot as Mokuba. Every. Single. One. "Hey guys, how about looking at my face, huh?" She waited a beat. "Hey! I'm talking to you!" No reply. "Guys!" Silence. She waved a hand in front of her chest and yelled, "Hey assholes!" Several heads snapped up at once. Tristan and Yami both looked sheepish, while Bakura and Duke each gave her a leer - Bakura actually went so far as to wink at her. Seto appeared indifferent to the situation in general while Joey and Mokuba however, were still staring. "You little perverts!" Tea poked a finger in Joey's chest to emphasize her point. "And YOU Joey Wheeler! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Look at the example you're setting for Mokuba!"

Joey spluttered. "ME! I ain't the kid's role model or nothin'! Talk to Mr. Personality over here about that! He's the one that raised 'im!"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Bakura scolded under his breath.

"You callin' me a lady, you big fruit?" Joey shoved his fist in the white-haired boy's face menacingly.

"I wasn't even referring to you, you loud-mouthed twit. But while we're on the subject - are those the first breasts you've ever laid eyes on in your pathetic life, Wheeler?"

"Why you - " Tristan grabbed the back of Joey's t-shirt to keep him from tackling Bakura, who side-stepped the blond's clumsy lunge, cackling madly. Duke was left supporting most of Seto's weight again, and the blue-eyed teen immediately missed the blond's comforting presence. "What the hell is happening to me?" he thought deliriously. "When exactly did I start losing my mind?"

"Looks like you need to cool off a bit, Joey," Tea snickered and took aim at the growling boy, drenching him with a stream of water. Unable to wriggle out of Tristan's grasp in time to dodge, Joey ended up thoroughly drenched from head to toe.

"Aw, crap! What'd you go and do that for?" Joey actually sounded betrayed, giving Tea a hurt look from under his dripping bangs.

"He looks like a drowned puppy," Seto's brain supplied helpfully. He took one look at his rival's miserable expression, and burst into laughter. Duke joined in immediately, the two of them doubling over and supporting each other for once. The rest of the gang simply stood aside and openly marvelled that Seto Kaiba was actually LAUGHING.

Tea was on a roll now. "Duke Devlin! You certainly have nothing to be laughing like a hyena about! If this thing weren't empty, you'd be getting a dose too!"

Tristan jumped to Duke's defense. "C'mon, Tea. They're just boobs."

"They're MY boobs and no one asked to see them! You just...GROPED them with your eyes, you sickos!"

"All we have to do is ASK?" mused Yami wonderingly.

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" she rounded on Tristan again. "Besides, I thought you only liked dick!" Tristan reddened and coughed into his fist.

Duke wiped at his eyes. "And here you thought we'd never have anything in common." He stood back up, pulling a more composed Kaiba along with him. "They're BOOBS, Sweetheart. We don't have 'em. Therefore, they are endlessly fascinating to us. It's a subject completely outside of sexual orientation. Trust me on this."

Seto fumbled around for his "voice of reason" hat, and set it firmly back on his head. "I'm not sure that this is appropriate conversation for Mokuba to be overhearing."

"Aw, Seto! I was trying to be quiet over here! Why'd you have to go and spoil it?" Mokuba grumped. "It was just getting interesting."

"Hi guys, what did I miss?" Ryou's smiling face appeared in their midst, and everyone groaned.

Joey shook the water from his head as best he could, then began wringing water from his shirt. "Look. All this is getting us absolutely nowhere. I still need to get Moneybags back to my place and do something about those bites, Tea needs to go home and get a dry shirt, and Ryou needs to find a good exorcist. How 'bout we formulate a plan here?"

Yami spoke up first. "Yugi says everyone's invited back to the game shop for movies and popcorn." He listened internally for a moment. "He says to tell Tea that yes, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" will be part of the line-up."

"Big Brother! Can I go? Please?" Mokuba bounced up and down giddily. "I've never seen that one!"

Seto sighed and looked down at his brother. "Not this time Mokuba. At the moment, I don't have any way of getting you there and back home again."

Mokuba opened his mouth to protest, but closed it again with a snap. He considered his options for a moment, then turned pleading blue-grey eyes up at the older teens.

Duke was the first to crack. He glanced over at Joey and asked, "Hey Joe, you think you can handle Kaiba on your own?" The blond eyed Kaiba warily before nodding in reply. The green-eyed teen continued, warming to his audience, "How about this, then? The rest of you guys follow me back to my car and I'll drop Tea by her house for some dry threads. Then, we'll go on to Yugi's. I can run Mokuba over to the game shop and back home later when we're done." He casually waved one hand indicating both Joey and Seto. "You two just give us a ring when you've got Bug Bait here all patched up, and I can come pick you up, too. See? It all works out." He seemed inordinately pleased with himself. "I told you I was a genius."

Mokuba nodded his agreement. "So can I? PLEASE?"

"Fine. But your regular curfew is still in effect, got it?"

"Sure Seto! One A.M. it is!"

Seto was about to give his assent, then caught himself just in time. "It's MIDNIGHT, Mokuba. Nice try."

The younger Kaiba grinned innocently and hugged his sibling around the waist. "You're the best, Big Brother."

Joey gave up on his soggy shirt and clapped his hands together briskly, "Alright people, daylight's a-wastin'. Let's get this show on the road." He spun around to face Duke. "OK. Hand 'im over."

"I'm standing right here, Mutt," Seto grouched. "Stop talking about me like I'm an accessory."

"More like luggage," Joey muttered sourly. Kaiba wrapped his arm around the smaller boy's shoulder and moved to lean against him. He suddenly yelped and pulled back, nearly losing his balance.

"What?" Joey seemed puzzled. "I don't bite!"

Seto flushed, his imagination already in overdrive. "You're cold and wet." He thought about what he had just said, and smirked. "And here I thought that was just supposed to be your nose." Dog insults were a safe refuge for the CEO, and he was already starting to feel like he was back in safe territory. Then the unthinkable happened.

Joey rolled his eyes and tugged at his shirt irritably. He didn't really feel like standing around and waiting for it to dry, and now that he noticed it, he WAS pretty cold. "Fine." He grasped the hem of the t-shirt and pulled it off over his head in one smooth movement. "Happy now? You're barefoot and I'm topless. What a pair." He blinked and grinned slyly. "You too, Tea."

Tea screeched and flung the empty Super Soaker at him. Things were almost back to normal. Almost.

Seto had started to protest when he saw that Wheeler intended to remove his shirt, but it had all happened so quickly that he couldn't get the words out in time. "Or maybe I'm not really the one in charge here," he thought ominously as his groin began to show renewed interest in the proceedings. His eyes roved over all the visible flesh and he felt his skin break out into a light sheen of sweat. He was certain his IQ was dropping lower the longer he continued to be mesmerized by all the white Joey-skin on display. The thought of being pressed up against all that naked flesh made him want to hyperventilate. Too soon, the blond's arm was around him, and Seto could literally hear his own heart hammering in his chest as their skin made contact. The warmth emanating from the smaller boy was causing his legs to tremble, and the temptation to simply toss Joey to the ground and touch him EVERYWHERE was beginning to make his head spin crazily. He felt weightless; that earlier, slightly insane, exhilarated sensation was returning and his control was slipping fast. Skating his gaze away from the half naked blond, he settled a weak smirk on his face and swallowed thickly. "Ready when you are."

"Alright guys, hopefully I'll catch up with you later. Y'know, after I dispose of the body and all." Joey sent Kaiba a sunny smile.

Duke gave him a thumbs-up gesture. "I'm your alibi, man." He turned to head in the opposite direction, swinging one arm back to smack Seto soundly on the ass.

That was the last straw. "GOD DAMMIT!" Kaiba hurled himself at the green-eyed boy, taking exactly half a step before his injured feet protested by refusing to co-operate. He hissed in pain and fell to his knees with a jarring thud. Unable to face the astounded expressions, he toppled the rest of the way to the ground and angrily pounded the earth with his fist. "Am I fucking cursed today or WHAT!"

All eyes were riveted on him, and he immediately regretted his outburst. Gazing up into the concerned face of his younger brother, he attempted to scrape together the last shreds of his dignity. "It's a valid question."

Yami smirked. "I'd call it karmic retribution." He extended a hand to his rival and pulled the billionaire swiftly to his feet. Handing Seto back over to Joey's care, the spirit looked thoughtful. "Everyone has a shitty day now and then Kaiba, and I'd say you were MORE than overdue." He tilted one finely arched eyebrow. "Maybe you should try looking for the silver lining."

Temporarily mesmerised by Yami's words, Seto didn't immediately notice that the rest of the group had moved off, leaving him alone with Joey. He surveyed his reluctant companion, contemplating the pharaoh's parting statement. The blond cocked his head at the taller boy's appraising stare.

"Stop lookin' at me like I'm the dessert tray. You're creepin' me out."

Seto sighed deeply. "Come on mutt... let's get this over with."

Joey shrugged and set off back down the trail, a limping Kaiba draped awkwardly over his bare shoulders. If it occurred to him that the other boy was pressing a little closer than was strictly necessary, he didn't mention it.

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tbc

(1) In vino veritas - Latin for "The truth is in the wine" or "In wine, truth."


	6. Chapter 6 First Aid

Title: A Love / Hate Relationship With Spring - Chapter 6/7

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Seto/Joey

Beta: Jennie B. ('cause she's all about the grammar, yo)

Spoilers: Maybe just a few mentions of the Battle City / Noa Arc

Disclaimer: Are you serious? Oh, OK. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, I just twist it around and use it for my own perverted satisfaction. Don't look at me like that. I'm not the only one. points finger You're reading this, after all.

Summary: Joey Wheeler has no shortage of reasons to hate the season of flowers, butterflies, and rebirth. Can someone unexpected give him a reason to enjoy it as well?

A/N: Well, we're almost done now. One more chapter and an epilogue to go and my VERY FIRST FIC EVER is a wrap. I'll be sad to say good-bye for now, but a sequel is already in the works! I'm going to take things a little slower this time around, since I won't be writing on the fly to meet a challenge deadline.

I wanted to take a minute to thank my reviewers, you guys are awesome and your encouragement has kept me going when I've been down in the dumps or dealing with an extended case of writer's block. Chapter 7 has a MASSIVE lemon in it, so I'm afraid I won't be able to post it here, but I will post responses to my reviews and a link to where you can find the chapter in its undiluted form. I'm sure I don't have to say this, but you really SHOULD be 18 to read it. Not because I'm going all Tipper Gore on you or anything, but because it's the LAW. I don't agree with it, but I still have to follow it. I'll put the epilogue up here of course and as always, thanks for reading - I hope you like it! - CJ 05/02/05

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WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES...

Temporarily mesmerised by Yami's words, Seto didn't immediately notice that the rest of the group had moved off, leaving him alone with Joey. He surveyed his reluctant companion, contemplating the pharaoh's parting statement.The blond cocked his head at the taller boy's appraising stare.

"Stop lookin' at me like I'm the dessert tray. You're creepin' me out."

Seto sighed deeply. "Come on mutt... let's get this over with."

Joey shrugged and set off back down the trail, a limping Kaiba draped awkwardly over his bare shoulders. If it occurred to him that the other boy was pressing a little closer than was strictly necessary, he didn't mention it.

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Chapter 6:

To help take his mind off of Joey's half nude state and close proximity, Seto paid rapt attention to their surroundings as they travelled. This close to Domino City Park, the buildings were older but still immaculately kept. Mostly brick, the structures on either side of the walkway were of varying sizes and heights, having evidently sprouted up in a hodge-podge fashion over the intervening years. He was mildly surprised to recognize the names of several businesses he actually owned but had never visited.

They passed Maxine's diner on their way, and received a wave from the owner herself. The older woman was standing outside on the sidewalk taking a smoke break and obviously enjoying the warm Spring sunshine. When Joey waved in return, she gave a loud catcall at his state of undress. The blond smiled cheerfully and called over his shoulder, "Stop harrassing me you dirty old lady!" He chuckled and shook his head fondly. Seto only frowned, deep in thought.

Another block further on, the buildings became older and more run-down, but didn't appear trashy or intimidating in the least. They paused in front of a four-story dark stone edifice, and Joey huffed a long sigh. "Well, this is me. I gotta warn you though, my place is on the third floor and the elevator's busted." Seto groaned inwardly but gave the blond a terse nod. Compared to the earlier part of his day, this would be a piece of cake. The two boys entered the apartment building and proceeded to heave, claw, curse, and shove their mutual way up three flights of stairs. At the top, they paused a moment to catch their breath while Seto eyed the nondescript entrance in front of him. Other than appearing slightly battered, the door bore no identifying markers save a small placard affixed crookedly over the old-fashioned buzzer. It read simply, "Wheeler."

Joey leaned against the wall, fishing around in a front pocket for his keys. He met the taller boy's eyes and held them, a serious expression clouding his face. "Look. It ain't much, but I expect you to behave like any other half-mannered guest. No doghouse or kennel comments, got it?." He opened the door and helped the limping CEO over to the living room couch, easing him down into a sitting position. While Joey busied himself in the galley style kitchen, Seto took the opportunity to survey his environment. The apartment was pitifully small but, for the most part, clean and neat. The sparse furnishings and their threadbare condition obviously denoted the residents' level of income. Or lack thereof. From his vantage point, he could see straight into the kitchen, which was separated from the living area by a small bar with four stools. To his left, an open door provided him a glimpse of the blond's bedroom and the chaotic condition within. He smiled to himself. Some things were just TOO predictable.

Somewhat distracted, Seto didn't immediately register the other boy's presence until a glass of lemonade was thrust in his face. "Here. I'm gonna find me a shirt and go raid the medicine cabinet. Don't touch anything."

He disappeared through the open door and returned just seconds later tugging a black t-shirt over his head. Seto suppressed a sigh of disappointment. He noted wryly that the lettering on the front of the shirt read, "My Best Friend Went To Kaiba-Land And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt!" He sipped his lemonade and his eyes widened surprise as they followed Joey's path to the bathroom. A picture of a Blue Eyes White Dragon adorned the back of the blond's shirt. Seto felt a little shiver run up his spine. He blushed and hurriedly averted his eyes. His gaze alighted on a framed family photo, clearly a number of years out of date. He cleared his throat and made an attempt at conversation, "Where are your parents, Mutt?"

Joey's preoccupied voice suggested he either hadn't heard, or wasn't planning to acknowledge the insult. "Uh, my dad's gonna be...um, away on business for the next few days, an' my mom and sis' live out of town." The rustling noises emanating from within ceased, and he stuck his head back outside the bathroom door. "You've met Serenity; I thought you already knew all this."

Seto continued to stare at the photo, transfixed by the blond's grinning ten year-old face. "I didn't think you were worth bothering to find out about," he murmured in reply. Seto jerked his head up just in time to see Joey's face crumple. That really hadn't come out sounding the way he had intended it...

"Shit Kaiba, do you really have to be an asshole twenty-four seven? Couldn't you take just ONE day off?" He ducked back around the corner, accompanied by more rustling and then the sound of a cabinet slamming shut. He emerged soon after carrying a number of small items, including a worn, pocket-sized book. Joey briefly consulted the paperback, then plopped himself down on the opposite end of the couch. He placed the other items on the coffee table and made a grab for the CEO's feet.

Seto hissed at this rough treatment. "Take it easy, Mutt! Do you even know what you're doing?"

"Calm down, willya? It says right here in the Boy Scout First Aid Manual, that the first thing you do is "elevate the bitten extremity." I'm just tryin' to help - seein' as how I'm responsible and all..."

Seto felt an unfamiliar flash of guilt resulting from his earlier words, ashamed at making the smaller boy feel he was to blame for the incident. He relented and allowed Joey to raise his legs and place the injured appendages in his lap. Seeking a way to distract himself from the intimate contact, Seto questioned in a scathing tone, "YOU were a Boy Scout?"

Joey frowned as he pawed through the accumulated first aid supplies. "No, but I did beat the crap outta a few." Unable to help himself, Seto barked a sharp laugh. Joey's scowl deepened. "What? Where else would I have gotten the handbook?" He shrugged dismissively. "I wasn't always such a goody two-shoes, y'know." He uncapped a bottle of antiseptic, and began dabbing it on the individual bites with a cotton ball. His ministrations were gentle, but the liquid stung horribly on contact. Seto trembled at the burning sensation, and sucked in a harsh breath. Joey made a sympathetic sound, and leaned over to blow lightly on the moistened skin.

The physical reaction was immediate and astounding. Seto felt his eyebrows climb into his hairline and his dormant erection sprang fully back to life in only a matter of seconds. He glanced down at his crotch and realized with a mixture of dismay and pride that his condition was not likely to go unnoticed. Thinking swiftly, he seized a throw pillow from behind his back and settled it over his groin. He smiled benignly down at Joey, who eyed him suspiciously.

After cleaning the bites thoroughly, Joey once again consulted the manual. He muttered softly to himself, lips moving as he read. Out loud he said, "Administer oral antihistamines." He snickered. "Heh. Oral." Seto groaned. "Cut me some slack, Kaiba. I'm sixteen; everything's dirty." He quirked one blond eyebrow. "But I guess you wouldn't know anything about that, huh? What with you bein' such a cold fish all the time..."

Kaiba was sorely tempted to snatch the other boy's hand and let him feel exactly how FAR from cold he truly was at the moment. The imagined response was rewarding enough to make him smirk. He turned a disdainful gaze on his rival. "Some people are simply more juvenile than others." This statement caused his brain to reflect back on his dream from earlier, and the smirk faltered slightly. He suddenly noticed the label on the bottle Joey was currently reaching for, and he clutched at the smaller boy's wrist roughly. "Bleach! What the fuck are you trying to do to me, Mutt?"

Joey winced and tried to pull his wrist back. "Dammit Kaiba, turn loose! I'm just doing what it says in the book! See for yourself!" He shoved the handbook at the brunet and renewed his efforts to twist his arm free.

Seto only tightened his grip as he perused the open manual. "It says here that the third step is "apply a topical steroid cream, such as hydrocortisone;" I don't see any mention of BLEACH!" He ground the blond's wrist bones together viciously, causing the smaller boy to whimper and give up trying to extricate himself from the painful grasp.

"Ow! That HURTS, you asshole!" Joey furiously blinked tears from his eyes and gritted out, "I couldn't FIND any hydrocortisone. If you look at the bottom part, it says you can substitute a solution of equal parts bleach and water."

Angrily, Seto scanned the page, discovering the truth in Joey's words. He abruptly released his hold and leaned back, throwing one arm over his eyes to conceal his mortification. "Fine. Just get on with it."

Rubbing his sore wrist and staring reproachfully at the other teen, Joey applied the solution to each insect bite. He wasn't nearly as gentle with his efforts this time. Despite this harsher treatment, Kaiba soon sat up in astonishment. The effects from the bleach solution were instantaneous, and he was left with barely a tingle from his formerly agonizing feet. He was so pathetically grateful for the relief that he didn't even protest when Joey sulkily handed him two pink and blue capsules to swallow.

The blond abruptly stood, shoving Kaiba's feet out of his lap. He stalked into the kitchen and angrily snatched the telephone handset off the cradle. "I'm callin' you a cab. I assume you won't be headin' over to Yug's place?"

Seto blissfully closed his eyes and waved a hand in the air dismissively. "Whatever." Yawning, he stuck both hands behind his head and propped his feet on the sofa. He grunted in annoyance when the cordless telephone struck him in the abdomen. He opened one eye to glimpse Joey standing over him, fuming.

"You're not even gonna apologize, are you?" The blond shook his head in exasperation. "You are un-fucking-believable! OK. I'll buy that this whole mess is somehow MY fault. Hell, I'll even take responsibility for not warnin' you about the bleach; but the fact that you're just gonna lie there and be all smug about it after I dragged you home and patched your sorry ass up - "

Seto opened his mouth to cut into this tirade, but before he could form the words, Joey had snatched the pillow from the CEO's lap and was waving it menacingly. "So I think you should just take your arrogant - " He cut off, eyes widening. Seto cursed his rotten luck and rebellious libido. The more the brown-eyed boy had ranted, the harder Seto had become. There was no concealing his condition, and any explanations he might have once thought of using had already fled his brain in abject terror. He was on his own.

Joey allowed the pillow to drop from nerveless fingers. As he gradually regained control over his motor functions, only one thought blazed brightly in his head. He turned an accusing glare on Kaiba. "Cell phone, huh?" He swallowed. "Kaiba, is that... uh, do you... um - " He ran his fingers through his hair several times, unable to bring himself to ask the question. Finally he blurted, "Are you hot for me or somethin'?"

Seto glared intently at a spot just over the other boy's right shoulder, and manufactured a loud snort. He thought he sounded rather convinvcing when he said, "Don't be ridiculous! Why would someone like me be interested in a loud-mouthed, second-rate duelist like you? Forget your dueling skills, there's nothing at all appealing about you in the first place. Your temper's so out of control, it's a wonder any of your so-called friends are even willing to drag you out into public. You're obnoxious, slovenly, boastful - "

"Oh yeah? Well at least I'm not a stuck-up prick who feels the need to overcompensate for everything! I mean, gimme a break! The Blue Eyes White Dragon Jet? Please! Don't even get me started on that God-damned blimp! What kind of shortcomings are YOU tryin' to make up for?" He smirked at the brunet's groin. "Or maybe I already know..."

Seto took the gloves off. "At least I don't rely on everyone around me to solve all my problems for me! Your big stupid mouth is constantly writing checks your ass can't cash! When are you ever going to figure out that Yugi only sticks around because he feels sorry for you! You're so passive aggressive it makes me sick! You stumble around with your head shoved so far up your ass - "

"Passive aggressive!" Joey shrieked, balling his hands into fists. "I'm not the one with more issues than a magazine stand! You're so fucked up, Mokuba's the only person on the face of this planet who can stand you! You're always lordin' everything you have over everyone else! Underneath all your fancy gadgets and expensive clothes you're nothin' but an obsessive freak! That's right! I called you a freak, you pompous - "

Seto leapt to his feet at being called a freak. Towering over the blond, he inclined his face down toward Joey's and growled, "Don't you DARE drag Mokuba into this, Mutt. If I hear his name so much as pass your lips..."

Joey looked up to meet the other teen, nose to nose. He dropped his voice an octave and flatly hissed, "You'll WHAT?"

Kaiba drew his arms back suddenly and PUSHED the shorter teen. Not with violence, but with definite intent. Joey found himself trapped flush against the wall, unable to meet the fiercely burning eyes of the boy above him. He cringed in anticipation of the first blow. Instead, Seto pressed against him with the length of his body, placing his hands on the wall along either side of the flustered blond. He lowered his head, clamping his mouth over Joey's and kissing him hungrily. Joey pulled back violently, striking his head on the wall behind him and grunting a muffled protest. The harsh lips followed his every movement and pressed even harder, a tongue questing for entrance to his mouth. Having nowhere else to retreat to, he set his palms against Seto's chest and shoved as hard as his limited leverage would allow. His efforts had no effect other than to evoke a low moan from the aroused teen. Joey opened his mouth, intending to try and talk some sense into the other boy, but that hot tongue took the opportunity presented and slipped inside to short-circuit his brain. Joey felt his heart drop like a rock into his stomach, and he closed his eyes, giving himself over to the kiss.

Seto came back to his senses all at once, abruptly aware of the fact that there was no air in the room; no sound or motion, save for the wild thud of his own heart inside his ribcage, and Joey's laboured gasps for breath. He felt a moment of smug triumph, akin to winning an arduous duel, when Joey returned the kiss, opening his mouth and wrapping his arms around Seto's neck. Encouraged by this unexpected reaction, he threw caution to the wind and ground his erection into the other boy's hip, a growl forming in the back of his throat. He knew he was behaving recklessly, but the sensations awakened in him were too powerful to ignore. They overrode every last control mechanism he had hardwired into his brain and drowned out the voice of reason screaming in his ear. Allowing instinct to take over, he ghosted a hand over the blond's side, feeling him tremble at the touch. The hand continued its way down the length of Joey's slim body, pausing when it had successfully sought out the juncture of jeans and an exposed stripe of skin. Seto slid his fingers under the edge of Joey's t-shirt and trailed them upwards to graze a nipple, smirking into the other's mouth as he felt it contract under his fingertips. He bestowed the same treatment on the other nipple and was rewarded with a strangled groan. He revelled in the feeling of that firm body writhing under his hands and pushing urgently back against his own. The gratifying realization of a reciprocal erection pressing into his leg made him even bolder. Seto traced a line of wet kisses over Joey's jawline and down to his neck, using one hand to shove at the obstructing t-shirt until it was bunched up under the smaller boy's arms. For long moments, he was lost in the exploration of the blond's throat, fastening his teeth on a pulse point and eliciting a noise that was more moan than gasp. Joey's arms tightened about Seto's neck, his fingers sinking into silky hair at the brunet's nape, wrapping around and holding tight. Seto lowered his head, brushing his mouth over one nipple before biting down gently. Hands tightened in his hair, tugging urgently, and a breathy "Oh," encouraged him to repeat the actions - with similar results. Using his mouth to continue driving the other teen to distraction, Seto maneuvered his way to the button of Joey's jeans. He effortlessly unfastened it one-handed, and gave an expert tug at the zipper. Slipping his hand down inside the opening and under the waistband of Joey' s boxers, Seto murmured huskily into the blond's chest, "I've been thinking about this all day long..."

Joey was about to mumble a suitably preoccupied response when the brunet's words struck home. His eyes flew open and he gazed down just in time to see one well-manicured hand disappearing inside his underwear. He jerked his own hands out of Seto's hair and frantically scrambled along the wall, extricating himself from the busily questing hands and mouth. Taken by surprise, Seto fell backwards to land on his rump, panting heavily and glaring at the blond from under a brow darkened with confusion. Joey heaved in great lungfuls of air himself, shrinking back against the wall as though he were anticipating the other boy to pounce at any second. When Seto actually did make a move toward him, Joey yelped and skittered nervously around the corner.

"What is your PROBLEM, Wheeler!"

Joey hurriedly zipped up his pants and yanked his shirt back into place before answering, "YOU'RE my problem! What the HELL was that all about?"

Seto dredged up his trademark smirk. "I would think that it was rather obvious. Even for someone as dense as you."

"Dammit Kaiba! You know what I mean! One minute we're fightin' like always, and the next you're all up in my Kool-Aid!" Joey crossed his arms and glared at the CEO. "What exactly are you playin' at here?"

Seto stood back up, brushing at his pants and surreptitiously adjusting his slight... problem. He was beginning to feel like he'd had an erection for YEARS now. "I think it's safe to say, that for some unfathomable reason, I find myself physically attracted to you." He studied his hands intently. Damn. He'd been THIS close... He snapped his head back up to pin the blond with a piercing stare."And judging by your enthusiastic reactions, I'd say the attraction is mutual." Kaiba's aggravating smirk just wouldn't quit. "You may be a complete idiot, but at least I can't fault you for your taste."

"Who are YOU kiddin', you big jerk? You're the one who jumped ME!" Joey turned his nose up in the air. "Anyway, I was SO not into it."

"Oh really? Would you like to explain to me why you're still hard, then?" Seto glared pointedly at the other teen's crotch. There was noticeable activity going on in there and the faded, snug-fitting jeans did virtually nothing to hide it. "Why don't you just admit it? I may have taken you by surprise, but you were all over me like white on rice, Wheeler."

Joey visibly reddened, but refused to accede the point. "Don't flatter yourself! Besides, I like GIRLS!"

"Oh please. Have you ever even KISSED a girl?"

"Sure I have!"

Seto quirked an eyebrow. "When?"

"In second grade, I kissed Jenny Simpson in the lunch line!" The smaller boy pondered his own statement for a moment. "She, uh, smacked me in the face with her tray." He grinned sheepishly. "Maybe not the best example... but I'm NOT gay!"

"OK then. I'll play along." Seto crossed his arms and seated himself on the couch. "If you're not the least bit attracted to me, answer me this. Why did you react the way you did? YOU allowed me to kiss you. YOU kissed me back. YOU could have gotten away at any time. Why didn't you?"

Joey toed the worn carpet and fished desperately for an answer that would let him come out of this situation unscathed. "It's just that, well...you were doin' those things, and they felt REALLY good, and uh...shit Kaiba, you're a good-lookin' guy, you know? With a GREAT body - not that I've ever really thought of you THAT way - not really." He was truly starting to sweat now while Kaiba, if it were genuinely possible, looked even more smug. "Oh sure, I've NOTICED you before. Completely innocent of course - just in passin' like in the locker room or uh, gym. But that doesn't mean..." Joey had a sudden mental image of himself standing at the bottom of a freshly dug hole, shovel in hand, peering up at a self-satisfied Kaiba perched on the edge. He exhaled noisily. "So OK, FINE! There's some weird chemistry there." He pointed an accusing finger at the brunet. "But I'll have you know I flunked chemistry! TWICE!" Seto remained oddly silent throughout this, and Joey tentatively crossed the room to seat himself beside the other teen. "What are we supposed to do about this?" He ran a hand through his untidy blond locks. "I don't even like you very much, you know."

"This may have escaped your notice Mutt, but I'm not all that fond of you either." Seto's face transformed itself into a mocking grin. "Just admitting to finding you desirable has been difficult, to say the least."

Joey leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, head in hand. He wearily rubbed his forehead. "I dunno. I suppose it wouldn't hurt for us to try to get to know each other better. Maybe if we found some things we have in common, it would make this easier to deal with?" He shrugged. "It could be worth a shot."

Seto nodded absently and brought a hand up to his hair in a self-conscious gesture. He encountered the sticky mess on top of his head and grumbled, "I don't suppose your Boy Scout manual says anything about removing tree sap?"

"Nah, but I already know the best thing for that." The brunet looked at him expectantly, and Joey smiled broadly before answering. "Peanut butter."

"You're joking!"

The smile grew wider. "I happen to know first hand just how well it works."

Seto seemed hopeful. "So you've tried it yourself then?"

"Nope. But, I've helped Yugi get it out of his own hair lots of times. That big 'do of his has a tendency to get caught in low-hangin' tree branches." He grinned fondly in remembrance. "You got lucky. Pine sap is the WORST."

"How did you - ?"

It was Joey's turn to smirk. "Oh, I've done this PLENTY of times. I can TELL."

Not ten minutes later, a dubious Seto Kaiba found himself reclined in an uncomfortable chair, head in the Wheeler's kitchen sink. He was having some difficulty accepting the fact that not only was he ALLOWING the mutt to smear peanut butter in his hair, he was also taking the blond's word that it would actually WORK. Such a strange turn of events in an infinitely stranger day, but he realized he was starting to enjoy himself a bit. The normally clumsy hands felt soothing on his scalp, and he had to admit that the view was rather nice from his prone position. He felt a bit like Alice after stepping through the looking glass, and smiled to himself at the mental image of Joey with an "Eat Me" sign around his neck. Oh yes, he was definitely cracking up at this point. Stranger still, the thought didn't bring much distress along with it. He relaxed further and listened with morbid curiosity as the other boy made hesitant attempts at small talk.

"So Kaiba, what would you like to talk about first? Since we're gettin' to know each other and all...?"

"Let's talk about getting naked."

Joey rolled his eyes and gave the gooey, chestnut hair a sharp yank. Kaiba winced, but continued to leer up at him. "Quit bein' a perv; I'm tryin' to be serious here." He scooped more peanut butter into his palm and massaged it into the stubborn globs of tree sap gluing the soft tresses together. "OK then, I'll start. My favorite color's green. What's yours?"

"Black."

"Now we're gettin' somewhere!" Joey rinsed his hands in the other side of the sink, then dried them off on a towel. "And for your information, black is a SHADE, not a color. I learned that in art, which is my all-time favourite school subject." He turned on the faucet, carefully adjusting the water temperature. "That would be your cue to share, Moneybags."

Seto grunted. "High school is pointless. I'm intellectually superior to everyone there, including the teachers."

Joey gave a long-suffering sigh as he sprayed the taller boy's hair with warm water, dislodging clumps of sap and peanut butter alike. "Alright, maybe we should try something a little more personal." He reached for the bottle of shampoo he'd set close at hand, and scrunched his face in concentration. As he lathered, he blurted out, "Your parents. What were they like?"

Seto was briefly floored by the question. No one outside of Mokuba and an obviously disinterested state psychologist had ever asked him that question. Why would the mutt ask him this? What was he up to? He gave a rote answer that he hoped would lead to the subject being dropped. "They were like everyone else's parents I suppose." He waved his hand, dismissing the question's validity. "They were kind, loving, et cetera..."

Joey wasn't falling for such an obvious cop out. "Don't bullshit me. I'm asking because I wanna know. What were they REALLY like?"

Unbidden, an image of his mother arose in Seto's mind. A memory surfaced in crystal clarity, and he tried desperately to will it away. Seto's grade school teachers, in awe of his genius and constantly taking false pride in his accomplishments, had let the young boy run amok at school, bereft of even the most basic discipline. After receiving yet another tearful call from a classmate's parents, his mother had had enough of her son's domineering tendencies and called a conference with Seto's school principal. He remembered shrinking fearfully in his chair, alarmed at his mother's tirade and her insistence that the prinicipal "do something" to curtail her son's out of control behaviour while he was away at school. When she had sufficiently browbeat the poor academic behind the desk, she had turned her wrath on Seto. She informed him, in no uncertain terms, that his egotistical machinations had come to an end, and he would apologize in person AND in writing to each and every student he had bullied and/or manipulated. In later years, he had found it ironic that Gozaburo himself had encouraged and nurtured these same destructive tendencies. During all of this, his mother's love and concern for him had shown through despite her harsh words, and even at that tender age he was smart enough to realize she only had his best interests at heart.

His intuition had proven him correct, as usual, when she had taken the chastised boy aside later and informed him, "Seto, you're a brilliant, special young man. I don't want you to EVER doubt your self worth or the fact that you will go far in life." She paused, levelling a steady gaze at her contrite son. "But you must always remember, other people have feelings the same as you. Being smart doesn't give you the right to treat them as less than they are. You're bigger than that, and most importantly, you have a kind heart. You should try harder to demonstrate that."

Seto recalled feeling vaguely patronized; he knew his own intellect far outshone his mother's, but that didn't prevent him from worshipping the very ground she walked on. She had taken him for ice cream afterwards, and he had always regarded that day as an early turning point in his life. One of many, and unfortunately not one that had stood the test of time. He felt faintly ashamed, wondering what his mother would say about him were she to see him today. His mind shied away from this uncomfortable line of thought.

He came back to himself and observed the blond still waiting patiently for an answer. Looking up into Joey's warm brown eyes, he perceived nothing but guileless curosity and genuine concern. Finally he spoke, more truthfully this time. "They really WERE kind and very loving. They also didn't care how smart I was; they treated me the same as any other boy my age, even when I'd disappointed them." He gave a wry half-smile. "Which I did frequently."

Joey nodded as he busied himself rinsing shampoo lather out of Seto's hair. In a soft voice he asked, "What happened to them?"

Seto had expected this follow-up question, but he still paused a moment before answering, "Mom died giving birth to Mokuba and my father died in an automobile accident three years later." He continued without prompting. "After that, we went to the state orphanage for a while before ending up with Gozaburo Kaiba." He gave another one of his self-mocking grins, this one considerably darker than before. "Which was all my doing, of course." He visibly shuddered before regaining control of his emotions. "But you already know all of this, thanks to Noa."

"I'll bet it was hard for you, havin' to keep Mokuba safe and be strong for him durin' all of that." Joey warmed to his subject, his concern evident in his words. "Noa didn't care one way or another if the whole world was witness to all your secrets, he just wanted his revenge no matter who got hurt." He absently toweled the CEO's hair dry. "I know I wouldn't have been able to stay so strong, be so focused and determined..."

Seto disagreed with this last statement vehemently, somewhat bewildered by his own violent reaction to the other boy's words. "Don't be dense, Mutt. I've seen you do it a number of times. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met."

Tension descended between the two teens, and Joey broke its hold by forcing a laugh. "What a fucked-up pair we make, huh Kaiba? You had two wonderful parents who died and I'm stuck with two live and healthy ones who couldn't give a shit about me." He shook his head ruefully. "I'd say the massive amount of baggage we have between the two of us might be the only thing we actually have in common." He gestured toward a framed photo of Serenity in the adjacent hallway. "That and the fact that our siblings are the closest thing we each have to a REAL family. I only wish I had my sister with me like you have Mokuba. I'd give just about anything for that..." He trailed off, thinking he may have said too much.

Seto appeared introspective for a moment as he sat back up. "I will say one thing about you, Wheeler. You have far more insight than I would have ever given you credit for."

"Thanks, Kaiba." Before he could stop and talk himself out of it, Joey leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the other boy's lips. He recovered his wits and asked in all seriousness, "Now what?"

Seto smiled - the first genuine, warm smile the blond had ever seen from his rival. "I have an idea." Powerful heads of state and industry giants alike had trembled at these selfsame words when spoken by Seto Kaiba. Joey Wheeler just smiled back.

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tbc


	7. Chapter 7 Competition

Title: A Love / Hate Relationship With Spring - Chapter 7/7

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M (Bacardi Limon alert! I had to drink a large quantity of the stuff in order to write this smut!)

Pairing(s): Seto/Joey

Beta: Jennie B. (Damned right she's on my Xmas card list!)

Spoilers: Nopey - Wait. There's a teeny mention of DDM. Shhh. I won't tell if you won't.

Disclaimer: Are you serious? Oh, OK. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, I just twist it around and use it for my own perverted satisfaction. Don't look at me like that. I'm not the only one. points finger You're reading this, after all.

Summary: Joey Wheeler has no shortage of reasons to hate the season of flowers, butterflies, and rebirth. Can someone unexpected give him a reason to enjoy it as well?

A/N: Well. we're here. This is the final chapter, (there's an epilogue too!) and I must say that I'm sorry to see it end. Voting is still going on over at ADL, so I have no idea how this story will fare. (crosses fingers) I'm just happy to finally have a fic under my belt. Anything else is gravy. Review responses follow after the epilogue, and I hope you guys enjoy the juicy lemon that's right smack dab in the middle of this LOOOONG chapter! We'll just see if FanFictionDotNet lets me get away with it, otherwise I'll be seein' y'all over at my LiveJournal again, I guess.

Again, I reiterate, YOU SHOULD BE AT LEAST 17 YEARS OF AGE to read this boi-smut. It's not fair, and my heart bleeds for you. I'm still young enough to remember what it's like to be UNDERAGE (gasps) and it truly sucks that everyone gets to tell you what to do all the time. Censorship is just plain wrong, and - OK, I'll get off my soapbox now. That's not what you're here for is it?

UPDATE 6/23/05 - Hey! I came in fourth! (happy dance)

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WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES...

Seto appeared introspective for a moment as he sat back up. "I will say one thing about you, Wheeler. You have far more insight than I would have ever given you credit for."

"Thanks, Kaiba." Before he could stop and talk himself out of it, Joey leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the other boy's lips. He recovered his wits and asked in all seriousness, "Now what?"

Seto smiled - the first genuine, warm smile the blond had ever seen from his rival. "I have an idea." Powerful heads of state and industry giants alike had trembled at these selfsame words when spoken by Seto Kaiba. Joey Wheeler just smiled back.

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Chapter 7:

Joey was feeling vaguely disappointed, and was somewhat annoyed with himself for it. He wasn't quite sure what sort of idea he had been hoping Kaiba would come up with, but "Was that a Playstation 2 I saw in your room?" had caused a definite sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. Normally, he would have leapt at the chance to go up against the great Seto Kaiba one-on-one, especially considering that Joey Wheeler was never one to turn down a challenge - certainly not one of this magnitude. He was just bewildered that, at some point, the context had changed without his noticing. Odder still was that he continued to experience half-formed pangs of loss despite the fact that he was WINNING.

It didn't make any sense. Here he was, seated in the floor of his very own bedroom, and utterly humiliating his longtime adversary in a forum of Kaiba's own choosing, no less. It defied reason that he should find himself unable to derive any pleasure from it. When the hell had THAT happened? He felt empty inside; bereft of the sense of accomplishment that he knew should accompany the besting of his ultimate rival. Kaiba, on the other hand, was becoming more and more enraged as Joey continued to demonstrate his well-honed gaming prowess. He felt he should be rejoicing that the normally cool and composed CEO was starting to crumble, should be revelling in the undeniable fact that it was all his own doing. After all, wasn't that the stuff of which fantasies were made? He sighed. This was totally unacceptable. It was time to pull out all the stops, and no one on earth knew what buttons to push better than Joey Wheeler.

"That was a great practice round, Kaiba." He received a flat glare in return. "Oh. You mean that wasn't...?" Joey shrugged nonchalantly. "Wow. All I did was mash some buttons, go figure. You said you've played Burnout 3 before, right?"

Kaiba growled. Joey was suddenly concerned about the safety of the controller his opponent was holding. It seemed on the verge of being crushed by the brunet's barely suppressed rage. "Start the battle race stage again, Mutt." He clenched and unclenched his fists rhythmically. "I obviously chose the wrong vehicle last round. Besides, you of all people should realize your luck won't last forever." Kaiba seemed to regain a modicum of his trademark self-possession. "It's typical of you to start out strong and completely disintegrate before the end. I've certainly seen you do it enough times in a duel. It's only a matter of time before you embarrass yourself, Wheeler. I can be patient. Now shut that big, bragging mouth of yours and restart the race."

Joey waited to see red at these words, but it never happened. He clearly wasn't trying hard enough. He redoubled his efforts to get a rise out of the CEO. "Did I hear your voice crackin' a little bit there, Moneybags? It's OK to cry. Anyone with your score would."

"Forget it. Put Mortal Kombat Deception back in and we'll see who ends up crying."

Joey appeared nonplussed. "Alright, have it your way. It's only polite to allow the guest to choose his own manner of demise..."

Five minutes later, Joey found his attention drifting. He really only needed to keep one eye on the proceedings, never realizing that this too infuriated the other teen beyond the capacity for rational thought. "Flawless Victory," the console speakers proclaimed blandly. Kaiba stared open-mouthed in shock, apparently frozen in place. Joey feigned confusion. "You mean I was the guy on the RIGHT? Hey, I think I'm startin' to get the hang of this!" He gave a short tug on both cables. "Are you sure yours is connected?" Kaiba snarled wordlessly and flung his controller across the room in disgust.

"Hey! Watch it, asshole! Bein' a sore loser don't give you the right to break other people's stuff! I bought this system with my own money, and if you can't control your hissy fits..." Kaiba snorted, and this spurred Joey to further admonishment. "Just 'cause you're a spoiled bastard with money fallin' outta your ass doesn't mean you can walk around doin' anything you damn well please! I already feel bad for dippin' into my savings to buy the damned thing and if you bust it, I can't afford to replace it. If Yugi's grandpa hadn't given me such a good deal..." He realized he was rambling. "Ah, what the hell am I tellin' you this for? It's not like you have any concept of bein' the little guy..."

Kaiba stared intently at him. "If it's broken, then it wouldn't be a problem for me to replace it, now would it? That's how "spoiled bastards" like myself handle our daily dilemmas, Mutt. We have the privilege of breaking things and then throwing money at the problem." He gave a self-mocking grin. "I learned that from the best." He gazed at Joey with sudden interest. "Where do you work?"

Joey figured that whoever had shown Kaiba how to solve his problems with money was most likely also responsible for teaching him to change gears so quickly. It was probably some sort of tactic devised to keep your enemy off balance. Joey, on the other hand, didn't have a disingenuous bone in his body, although he could bluff with the best of them. "It's not so much a job as overpaid slave labor," he joked, but Kaiba didn't concede an inch with his laser sharp gaze. He swallowed nervously. He was treading on dangerous ground here. "I uh, work for this rich guy doin' odd jobs around his place, you know? Fixin' things, cuttin' the grass, takin' care of the place while he's gone. Pretty boring stuff, actually."

"Does this "rich guy" have a name?" Joey muttered a reply, and Seto leaned forward, cupping his ear. "What? Stop mumbling, I can't understand you."

"His name's J. Wallace Toomey, I said!"

Seto blinked. "I know him. He's on the board of directors at Kaiba Corp."

Joey shrugged. "Yeah, I figured you did."

"He's a dick," Kaiba stated bluntly, and Joey nearly choked. "What? If you work for him, then you know it's simply the unadorned truth. I can't believe you have the audacity to call ME spoiled when you apparently know the Lord God Overseer of wealthy pricks first hand." He curled his lip in disdain. "He's nothing but a worthless trust fund baby whose daddy owns a sizable chunk of Kaiba Corp stock. The old man put his pride and joy on the board in his place and now I'm the one who has to deal with the simpering prep school idiot. He's constantly trying to undermine me, but far too stupid to pull it off. He can't even manage to adequately kiss my ass when he gets caught." He levelled a steady look at the blond. "It doesn't exactly seem to be in your nature to put up with abuse from someone like that. God knows you don't take it from me. Surely there are other job openings available?"

Once again, Joey tried to deflect the serious tone of the conversation. "Heh. Don't call me Shirley." Kaiba frowned and started to speak, but Joey interrupted. "Oh yeah sure, there's tons of opportunities out there for someone like me." He willed away the bitterness he heard in his own voice. "As a matter of fact, both Duke AND Yug's grandpa offered me jobs at their game shops. Better pay for better hours, even." Kaiba raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Seriously! I mean come ON, what card shop wouldn't want THE Duelist Kingdom runner-up, not to mention a Battle City finalist, workin' for them?" He continued proudly, "They were practically fightin' over me I tell ya! I'm a walking advertisement for Duel Monsters; a bona fide success story even! Joey Wheeler, duelist extraordinaire, is a name that carries a lot of weight in this town..."

Kaiba continued to appear unconvinced. "So what's your excuse, Mutt? Sounds like a golden opportunity for a second-rate duelist such as yourself."

Joey shot him a warning look. "THAT is a long and sordid story. Not to mention it's none of your busines, so just drop it."

"Fine. But you're the one who brought it up in the first place." Seto crossed his arms and leaned back against the edge of the bed, studiously examining the carpet in front of him and ignoring the blond.

Joey had decided he rather liked Kaiba in his laid-back, playful mood, and was disheartened to see him fall back on his usual cold arrogance so quickly. It occurred to him that perhaps a compromise was in order. After all, it had been a significant leap of faith for Kaiba to confide in Joey about the death of his parents; could Joey really expect himself to be any less forthcoming? He couldn't help but wonder how long their little "truce" would last once his closely held secrets were revealed, but recent interactions had led him to believe that it might be possible for the two of them to become friends. He sighed deeply. He really hated being so indecisive; this new, unsure footing where Seto Kaiba was concerned was beginning to cause a major headache. He rubbed his temples and turned to face the other teen. "Alright. here's the down and dirty - but I swear to God if any of this gets out you're gonna end up wearin' my shoe on the inside of your ass. Got it?"

Kaiba nodded briefly and visibly relaxed his posture. "Go on."

Joey fidgeted with the hem of his t-shirt for a few moments before he spoke. "I guess you could say that Toomey's got me by the balls." He looked up, a crooked smile on his face. "And not in the good way, either. My dad worked for him at first, doin' pretty much the same things I do now. At least he did for while." Joey took a deep breath. "The straight-up is that my dad's a drunk, and there's not a single other soul in town that woulda hired him. Toomey's offer was kind of a last ditch effort to get the old man back on track. Of course, he fucked THAT up big time." Joey laughed bitterly, and Seto was slightly startled by the vehemence he heard creeping into the normally easygoing boy's words. Until today, he'd had no indication of what sort of lifestyle might actually lie behind Joey's carefree attitude. "Long story short, Dad eventually falls off the wagon, like always, and ends up stealin' from Toomey. I have absolutely no idea what he stole, but the prick claims to have Dad on tape and he threatened to press charges. Knowin' my father, I don't doubt that Toomey's tellin' the truth. So I just stepped in and offered to do the same job for less money if he'd forget about goin' to the cops. End of story." Joey ran his hands through his hair a few times in an effort to regain his composure. "I tell ya though, I'm savin' every single PENNY I earn from that son-of-a-bitch and I'm movin' outta this dump so fast it'll make Dad's head spin. He can deal with the fallout himself; see if I care."

Seto wasn't fooled by Joey's gruff words; it didn't stand to reason that a son who had given up so much to protect his own father would make a run for it at the first opportunity that came along. Seto's overactive brain was already in high gear, examining the problem presented from various angles. From Joey's words, it would seem that the elder Wheeler was somewhat renowned in Domino for his deadbeat ways. Could Toomey have known this beforehand? And if so, to what purpose? For that matter, why even pay Joey for the work if he truly had irrefutable evidence of his father's guilt? All these thoughts he kept to himself however, merely nodding in agreement before speaking. "If I might offer up a hypothetical solution...?" Joey seemed instantly suspicious, but didn't interrupt. "It would be a simple matter for me have a "word" or two with Toomey on Monday. I would imagine that if I phrased my "suggestion" in the appropriate manner, he might find it advantageous to rid himself of this so-called video tape. I AM his employer after all, and I can be quite...persuasive when I want to be." He waved his hand dismissively. "To be honest, I wouldn't turn down any chance to wipe the smile off the face of that pompous ass. Toomey needs a decent reminder that I'm not just a high school student; he's become a bit of a thorn in my side with his asinine plotting. My knowledge of the situation should be adequately disconcerting, don't you think?" He held his breath, hoping that he'd given Joey enough leeway to accept the offer and salvage his pride at the same time. He reasoned that his offer of help wasn't so much out of the kindness of his own heart as it was that he hated seeing such a flagrant example of unfair business practices. He might detest losing, but Seto Kaiba always played fair. It was a testament to the fact that Gozaburo hadn't managed to drill out every ounce of humanity from him, and every shining example of that bastard's failure was a balm to Seto's soul. When he looked at the situation from that perspective, helping Wheeler with his little problem was no trouble at all. But why did he get the feeling he was searching a bit too hard for an excuse?

Joey had absorbed Kaiba's speech, and was busy trying to school his face into a calm mask. This might be the perfect solution to his troubles, but at what cost? Kaiba didn't just go around handing out favors, especially not to him. What could he possibly want in return? On the surface, his words made perfect sense. He wouldn't just be assisting Joey, Kaiba would be getting something out of it as well; was he just looking too hard for an ulterior motive? Experience had taught him that dealings with the brunet always had a catch, but how could he possibly afford to pass up this golden opportunity? The answer was plain and simple. He couldn't. "This all sounds well and good Moneybags, but as much as I'd love to get out of the little "arrangement" Toomey and me got goin' on, I don't think livin' with owin' you a favor would be any better."

Kaiba wasn't sure what prompted him to blurt, "You won't owe me a thing. I'll do it for a kiss," but once the words were out there, he found he didn't regret them as much as he probably should have.

Joey couldn't help waiting for the other shoe to drop. The thought of kissing Kaiba again made him squrim a bit, but he hadn't yet decided if this was good or bad. He'd reserve judgment until the kiss was over and done with. "You realize doin' this won't mean that I'm automatically goin' to accept Duke or Yugi's offer, right? I don't like havin' things handed to me on a silver platter." Seto correctly interpreted this statement to mean the blond was unwilling to tolerate any kind gesture he believed to be made out of pity. Nevertheless, it appeared that Joey might be trying to convince himself to accept Seto's assistance. He wisely kept his mouth shut as the other boy continued his line of reasoning aloud. "They've both already done so much for me. It just wouldn't feel right to expect them to pay me for doin' something I love. I'd have to find another job, but so what?"

Seto scoffed. "Devlin dressed you up in a dog suit and humiliated you on national television. How do you owe him anything? Admittedly, I could simply be bringing the matter up out of sheer envy for not thinking of it first..."

The blond made a face. "Ha freakin' ha. You're a riot." He tucked his legs underneath himself and gave Seto a frank stare. "Duke's been there for me in a lot of ways since then. I can talk to him about things that Yugi and Tristan just don't understand. We actually have a lot in common, once you get past the surface stuff."

The blue-eyed boy felt a sudden, inexplicable surge of jealousy at the closeness Joey and Duke seemed to share. Realistically, he knew that Joey would never in a million years stoop to confiding in Seto, not after the way he'd always treated the smaller boy. It was his own damned fault of course, but why should he even care if Joey trusted him or not? It's not like he was interested in anything other than his body. Which reminded him... "If you've finally decided to accept my assistance, then how about that kiss?" He leaned over and nudged the other teen with his shoulder.

Joey was careful not to appear too eager, despite how hard his heart was pounding. He was more comfortable with this familiar, manipulative side of Kaiba, but he couldn't help thinking he was missing an important piece of the puzzle. He had the nagging feeling that whatever it was, it should be right in front of his face. He blinked. Right in front of his face, where the brunet had suddenly appeared, zeroing in on Joey's mouth, a small, sexy smile playing about his own features. Joey closed his eyes, felt Seto's breath ghost over his face, parted his lips slightly...

The telephone rang. Joey gave a little start at the shrill, electronic warble before reaching a hand up to the bed where he'd dropped the cordless. He shot a sheepish smile at the thwarted and obviously miffed Kaiba as he pressed the "talk" button. "What?"

"It's always SUCH a thrill to be treated to your sunny disposition, Blondie."

"Hey Duke, we were just talkin' about you." Seto frowned. Devlin was beginning to annoy him. Joey merely shrugged apologetically. "What's up?"

"Talking about me, huh? So that's why my ears were burning. Oh no, wait; that was just Tristan slobbering on them." Duke paused, Joey's words at last sinking in. "WE? Are you telling me that rich bitch is still there?"

Joey grinned. "Yeah, he's still here alright. I've just been busy wipin' the floor with his ass at Mortal Kombat." Seto's frown reappeared, twice as severe.

"We were starting to wonder what happened to you guys. Tris was convinced that Kaiba had murdered you and was frantically building a Joey robot to replace you. What an imagination, huh?" Duke's voice dropped to barely a whisper. "This IS really you, isn't it Joey?

"Yeah, it's me. In the flesh." He concentrated on the conversation at hand, trying desperately to ignore the fact that Kaiba had begun nibbling on the side of his neck.

The boy on the other end of the phone spoke so quietly, Joey had to strain to make out the words. "Prove it. What was it that I ACTUALLY said about Tristan's dick?"

There was a significant pause.

"Duke? You don't have any idea what you said, do you?" More silence, followed by a lengthy sigh.

"No, I don't. I'm just afraid that it's something absolutely HORRIBLE. You know how I get when I'm hosed..."

"Aw, it's nothin' awful, man. All you said was that Tris had a crooked dick and he really knew how to use it." Seto lifted his head from biting on Joey's shoulder and raised his eyebrows questioningly. Joey turned pink. He cleared his throat self-consciously. "Which is far more than I ever wanted to know about your sex life - thanks for sharing." Joey thought for a minute. "I believe that was right after I found you holdin' on to that table leg, askin' me to help you down from the ceiling."

Duke actually sounded relieved. "Whew. I was worried that I'd said or done something REALLY outrageous."

"Well, later on you DID swear on a number of gods I've never even heard of, that you'd be perfectly happy lettin' Tristan top you for the rest of your natural lives..."

Duke laughed. "Wow. I must have been REALLY shit-faced!" Joey heard voices in the background. "Look, they're sending me out on a food run; do you want me to come pick you two up?"

Joey tugged on Seto's collar to get his attention. He pointed at the phone and mouthed the word "go?" at the preoccupied teen. Seto paused in his activities long enough to shake his head deliberately before returning to his investigation of Joey's throat. One long-fingered hand slipped under the edge of his t-shirt and Joey found his ability to focus sorely compromised. "Uh..."

"Oh wait, here's Yugi. He wants to talk to you. Later, Joe!"

"Uh..." Joey was still a few steps behind in the conversation, the warm hand roving over his abdomen apparently having adversely affected the speech center of his brain.

Yugi's cheerful voice cut through the haze somewhat. "Hey Joey! Are you coming over to watch movies with us? We're just about to start up "Aliens." Can you believe Tea and Ryou have never seen it?" All of this came out in a rush, and Joey struggled to keep up. It wasn't to his advantage that Seto was insistently pushing him down on his back as the flustered blond attempted to decipher his friend's last question.

"Um...yeah. Somehow, I'm not surprised. Be careful, man. You know Ryou gets nightmares." Joey gave the brunet's roaming hand a half-hearted smack as it drifted south to the button of his jeans.

"So are you coming?"

Joey's brain, aided by the two talented, exploring hands, readily supplied any number of suggestive answers to that question. Aloud, however, he replied, "I'm sorry, Yug. Count me out for tonight. I think I'll just stay in."

"Oh. OK." Joey smiled. His diminutive best friend had never learned to hide his disappointment well. But as always, Yugi rallied quickly. "You're still coming over to do homework tomorrow, right?"

"You bet. It's not like I could make heads or tails of geometry without you, buddy."

Seto abruptly sat up and motioned for the phone. Joey scrunched his forehead, perplexed and still extremely aroused. Seto rolled his eyes and mouthed, "Mokuba." Joey finally caught on. "Hey Yug, can you put Mokuba on the phone for a minute? Kaiba wants to talk at 'im."

"Kaiba's still THERE?" Yugi yelled as Joey drew the handset back to protect his ear drum. "Is everything alright, Joey?"

"Everything's fine, man. I've been schoolin' him at Burnout and Mortal Kombat, is all. Stubborn jerk won't leave till he beats me at least once." Joey was genuinely starting to adore that pissed off line that appeared so often in Seto's forehead. "Guess I'll start settin' an extra place at breakfast then, huh?" He flushed with embarrassment as the full implications of his statement sank in. Kaiba's frown immediately transformed into a self-satisfied smirk. Some things never changed.

Pulled from his study of Kaiba's face, Joey became aware that his best friend was still speaking. "Joey? Are you there? I said, put Kaiba on the phone."

"Oh, um. Sure thing, hold on." He sat back up and held the phone out to Seto. "He wants to talk to you."

Annoyed, the brunet snatched the handset and held it to his ear. "What?"

Joey paid rapt attention to the one-sided conversation, curious as to what Yugi was up to.

Kaiba rolled his eyes at what he was hearing from the other boy. "No, I'm not hurting him." A pause. "No, he hasn't been brainwashed either." Seto gazed heavenward and touched his fingertips to his forehead in a silent prayer for patience. "No! He's not being threatened or intimidated in any way, I assure you. Yugi, as much as I find your paranoia and rabid over-protectiveness clinically fascinating, I really just need to speak to my brother for a moment. Do you think that would be possible?" He waited, shooting occasional glances at Joey from the corner of his eye. Normally, he would be rather irked at someone listening in on a private conversation, but he was beginning to feel relaxed in the other boy's presence. He didn't have time to dwell on this revelation as Mokuba picked up on the other end of the line.

"Yes, Mokuba, everything's fine." Joey observed the small, warm smile that crept over the usually stern face. No one could melt that icy visage quite like Mokuba, and Joey wondered idly what sort of predicament he'd opened himself up to by pursuing his budding friendship with Kaiba. Maybe he should just cut his losses and allow them to return to the hate/hate relationship that had been their status quo before this bizarre day. Unexpectedly, that thought caused a flutter of panic in his chest, and he shoved it away forcefully. He snapped back to reality, once again picking up the thread of conversation.

"I'm glad to hear you're enjoying yourself. No, it's nothing like that. I just wanted to call and let you know that it's alright for you to stay out until one."

Joey raised his eyebrows. This was a new development.

"Of course. Just make sure you get your homework done sometime tomorrow. No, really. I'm fine, nothing at all's the matter. OK. Have fun. Bye, Mokuba." He turned off the handset and tossed it back on top of Joey's bed.

Joey was impressed. "That was damned nice of you, Kaiba. Lettin' him stay out like that."

Seto smirked as he reached out to prod Joey back into his former prone position on the floor. "I have my reasons." Seto leaned down, pressing his lips against Joey's, the kiss gentle, but not hesitant. "Now, where were we...?"

Joey let himself fall back, accepting Kaiba's body over his own and allowing himself to be covered completely by the brunet's larger frame. During their frequent, fiery altercations, Joey had always found Kaiba's size to be intimidating, and was a touch unsettled to realize he was exhibiting such a submissive disposition in matters of a more sexual nature. On the other hand, he'd always been a staunch supporter of the "If it feels good, go for it" line of thought, so who was he to argue with what his body was telling him? These scattered musings were driven away entirely by a warm tongue thrusting into his mouth, and the accompanying moans he belatedly realized were coming from him. Kissing Seto Kaiba was a wild, out of control experience that made him think beyond his ability to form thoughts into language, and he surrendered to it without any further hesitation. A warm tingle spread throughout his body, pausing only to ignite a few intimate places along the way, and nothing had ever felt so right before. He returned the passionate kiss eagerly, his tongue seeking entrance and wrapping itself around Seto's while his fingers furrowed a path through the auburn hair. Seto ended the kiss, pulling back and leaving Joey gasping for breath. He gazed up into blue eyes darkened with lust, with wanting him. Joey swallowed, his heart in his throat and mouth suddenly dry. "So, uh... I'm guessin' you've done this before?"

Seto smiled wryly. "If that's your not-so-subtle way of fishing around to try and discover my level of experience in this area, let me assure you, I know what I'm doing." Joey was slightly puzzled. Despite Kaiba's apparent expertise, the thought had never occurred to him that the brunet might have yet another advantage over him. It seemed he couldn't catch a break. Kaiba lightly traced one finger down the line of Joey's jaw. "It's all part of a well-rounded curriculum. I've had tutors in this subject, just like any number of others..."

He leaned down again, but Joey jerked his head away from the kiss. "You're shittin' me!"

Kaiba laughed, a low, amused sound. "I'm perfectly serious. I can't even begin to estimate how many business deals I've brokered that were contingent on my... performance in this particular area. Natural talent can only get you so far..."

Joey had a moment to briefly wonder exactly what he'd gotten himself into, before the lips descended on his again, and any argument he might have made for taking things slow evaporated under the onslaught.

Once again, Kaiba ceased his slow torture and lifted his head to gaze down at the smaller teen, a troubled expression on his face. "Joey," he licked his lips, liking the sound of the blond's given name from them. "I need to ask you something..."

Joey blushed furiously, pathetically grateful that his tousled hair covered most of his face. "Yes, I'm a virgin, OK?" he muttered, not daring to meet those fierce blue orbs.

"That wasn't what I was going to ask, but it's still helpful to know."

Joey reddened even further, and snapped, "What then?"

Seto brushed Joey's bangs away from his forehead and pressed a soft kiss on the revealed skin. "I was going to ask if you'd be willing to give yourself to me." He paused, letting his words hang in the air. "I'll make it good for you, I promise."

Momentarily speechless with shock, Joey had to put considerable effort into his next statement. "And here I thought you only wanted a kiss," he joked.

"I'm not sure I could stop at a kiss even if I wanted to." Kaiba smiled broadly and ground his hips into Joey's to demonstrate his eager state. The blond's eyes widened in astonishment as he felt just HOW eager. Seto smugly observed the startled reaction. "Shall we take this to the bed, then?" He stood up, offered his hand to the other boy, and moved to the opposite side of the room, pulling Joey along with him. He glanced in the floor by the night stand. "What happened to your blinds?"

Joey chuckled to himself. "Daylight Savings Time happened." At Seto's confused look, he waved a hand at the window and said, "Another long story."

Seto nodded absently and turned to face the brown-eyed boy, taking Joey's face gently in his hands. He kissed him softly, running his hands soothingly up and down the tense back. When Seto finally looked down at him again, he noticed Joey eyeing the bed warily. "What's on your mind, Wheeler?"

Joey shuffled his feet. "I'm nervous as hell."

Seto sighed. "I know." It had probably been a mistake to stop and assure himself that the blond was ready to continue with this. It seemed that the spell had been broken for the time being. Now it was up to him to get it back. Quite honestly, he was having trouble thinking clearly himself as the prospect of what they were about to do loomed large in his mind. "Was there something you wanted to ask?"

More shuffling of feet, and now Joey had added shirt-tugging to his repetoire. "It's going to hurt, isn't it?"

Rubbing a hand across his eyes, Seto fought down the urge to sigh again. He didn't want to frighten Joey off, but he wasn't going to start lying to him either. "Yes, it will. No matter how careful or gentle I am, it will probably hurt. It does get better with time and practice, however." He was concerned with how Joey might interpret his directness, and hurried to add a reassuring bit of personal information, "In my opinion, I think the positive aspect far outweighs the bad. After the initial pain, it feels unbelievably good."

Joey met Kaiba's candid gaze with an assessing look of his own. He sounded hopeful when he asked, "You've done it, um... the uh, other way around?"

Kaiba nodded. "Yes, I've bottomed before. Does that surprise you?"

"A little, yeah."

"The best advice I can give you is just try to relax and enjoy." Seto stroked the back of his hand over Joey's cheek. "I told you I'd make it good, and I'll keep that promise. I also promise to stop any time you say so. We won't do anything you're uncomfortable with."

Joey leaned into the touch and nodded his assent. "I know what I'm gettin' into here - I've heard plenty of details from Duke and Tris. Neither one of them can ever keep their mouths shut about their sex lives." He rolled his eyes. "Not to mention the fact that Bakura can be kinda...graphic when he talks about the kinky shit he and Ryou get up to. I'll never understand what would drive a person to wanna bang someone who could be their twin. I mean, what the hell is THAT all about?" Joey forcibly reined in his blabbering. "I'm just tryin' to say that relaxin' may be a little easier said than done, is all."

"I'll see what I can do to take your mind off of it..." Seto drew their bodies together, wrapping his arms around Joey tightly. He brought his hand to Joey's chin and tilted his face upwards for a deep, lingering kiss.

Joey quivered uncontrollably. They were still fully clothed and he was already more aroused than he'd ever been in his entire life. If this was how excited he was right now... His brain spiralled upward with the possibilities. He suddenly couldn't get his hands on naked skin fast enough. He reached up and began tugging at the brunet's shirt, fingers fumbling over the tiny buttons in his haste. Seto smiled into Joey's mouth and reached for the hem of the blond's shirt. After it was up and over the golden head, he threw it to the corner and returned to the heated kiss, moving his fingers over Joey's and assisting with the removal of his own clothing. He shrugged his shoulders, letting the shirt drop to the floor, and swiftly maneuvered one of the other boy's hands over the bulge in his pants. "Can you feel that, Joey? Do you see what you're doing to me?" Joey groaned and reached for the closure of the taller boy's expensive slacks, his own worn jeans rapidly becoming two sizes too small.

He'd barely begun to congratulate himself for getting the button unfastened when Seto pushed Joey's hands away and took a step back. He seated himself on the edge of the full-sized bed and gazed at the disheveled teen hungrily. "I want to see you naked."

Joey enthusiastically complied without giving the order a second thought. Hurriedly popping the top button, Joey hooked his thumbs under his waistband and yanked jeans and shorts both down in one vigorous shove. He stepped out of the discarded clothing and knelt on the floor to attack Seto's zipper once again. The brunet hauled him up short by wrapping strong fingers around Joey's upper arms. "Lie down on the bed. I want to look at you."

Just when Joey had believed himself beyond the capacity for embarrassment, Seto's words caused him to blush yet again. He crawled up the bed, acutely aware of the other's watchful eyes on his every move. He reclined with his head on his favourite pillow, straining to keep his hands down by his sides. Periodically, he would lose the battle with his willpower and tug nervously at the sheets beneath him. Kaiba stood and walked to the foot of the bed, pinning Joey in place with his steady blue gaze. He ran his eyes over the flawless body before him and resisted the urge to fall upon the smaller boy and ravish him to within an inch of his life. He was too close to his goal to risk frightening the blond away now. He frowned as he noticed a scattering of bruises and scrapes on the pale form. He couldn't immediately recall any recent skirmishes Joey might have had, and made a mental note to investigate later. He didn't bother to pause and marvel at the possessive undercurrents his thoughts were now taking.

As Joey fidgeted and fought to maintain eye contact, Seto removed his own pants and cast them aside. At first, Joey was mildly intrigued to discover the other teen wasn't wearing underwear, but then his eyes fell on the additional surprise revealed by the garment's removal, and everything else became a secondary concern. He swallowed hard. "That's not gonna fit."

Seto simply smiled as he climbed onto the bed and draped himself overtop of Joey. "It most certainly will. Besides, making it fit is half the fun." Seto took Joey's mouth with his own. Slow, wet, and infinitely sensual, he explored leisurely, allowing the desire in his belly to grow unchecked. Joey was willing beneath the gentle assault, riding out the waves of sensation until his breath hitched and his tongue stroked into Seto's mouth, teasing, drawing him in.

Outside the third floor window, daylight moved, the shadows subtly altering where they fell across the bedroom walls. Neither boy took any notice of the waning light, far too enraptured with each other to pay attention to their surroundings. Seto placed his hands everywhere he could reach on Joey's body. He traced slow, sure paths over chest and arms, pausing only briefly to kiss here and there, making Joey's heart beat faster and familiarizing himself with the feel of smooth skin beneath his palms. He broke away to rise up and straddle the smaller boy's thighs, chuckling at the muffled groan of protest. Seto licked his way down the sweat-soaked chest, taking hold of Joey's cock with one hand. He relished the loud cry of pleasure as he quickly stroked the length until Joey was arching his body off the bed. Seto sat back and stared, unable to take his eyes off of the vision below him. He was totally enamored by the way Joey's body moved, the smell of his skin...it was all becoming too much, too quickly. He slowed his frantic strokes and reached a hand over to the night stand drawer, fumbling blindly until he came up with a small bottle of hand lotion. He sighed with relief at his discovery, pleased at not having to cease his ministrations to go hunting for something more suitable. He took his hands away just long enough to open the lotion and slick down his own cock. Seto was harder than he'd ever been in his life, and just that much pressure was enough to cause his eyes to roll back in his head briefly. He squeezed out more lotion into his hand and spread it along his fingers. At the same time, he gently nudged Joey's legs up until his feet were flat on the bed. "Try not to tense up," he warned as he lay his head on Joey's stomach. Softly stroking the blond's erection, Seto let his other hand drift down and over the puckered opening, lightly pressing against it. He slid one slick finger inside, feeling Joey's muscles clamp down immediately as he'd anticipated. He pressed a soothing kiss to the heaving abdomen and gently moved his finger around, seeking that special spot he knew would make Joey forget all about his discomfort. "Shhhh...just relax," Seto whispered reassuringly. "Trust me."

A second finger joined the first and Joey opened his mouth to call the whole thing off when out of the blue, he felt a small lightning storm go off in his brain, and his hips jerked upward of their own accord. "What the...?" It happened again, this time accompanied by a plummeting sensation centered somewhere in his midsection. He felt as if he'd just dropped ten floors in a runaway elevator. "Oh my God, do that again."

Seto smiled to himself and inserted a third finger into Joey, brushing the small nub yet again as he moved his fingers about, stretching the passage. The noises Joey was making, combined with the blond's renewed erection, told Seto that he was as ready for the next step as he was ever going to get. Seto gave him one more rough, wet kiss that left Joey panting for more before it was done, and tenderly turned him over onto his stomach. The brunet gently guided Joey up onto his hands and knees, and reached between his trembling legs with one still slick hand. Joey shivered at the intimate touch, tense with anticipation, as his length strained forward for more solid contact. Seto fell upon him, long body pressed against the entire span of the smaller one beneath him, face at Joey's neck, his breath hot and harsh. Joey felt a blunt pressure prod at his entrance, and as his mind registered exactly what it was, his body inadvertently switched straight into panic mode. He jerked forward, avoiding the intrusion. "I can't do this."

Seto bit off his frustrated reply and instead grabbed a few pillows from the bed, slipping them carefully under Joey's raised hips. "Lie down." Joey let himself sink down into the soft support created by the pile, Seto still firmly at his back. "You need to try and relax a little more. Breathe deep and slow..." He rubbed soothing circles over Joey's lower back, licking between his shoulder blades and murmuring soft sounds into the sweat-slicked skin. He knelt behind Joey, aligning his cock and pressing forward once again.

"I can't," Joey ground out. "It hurts."

"You CAN. It hurts because you're still tensing up." Seto bit down firmly on his bottom lip, resisting the urge to thrust into that tight heat. "Try bearing down a little. Ah...yes, just like that."

Joey rested his forehead on his arms and followed Seto's instructions. The pain began to lessen slightly as he took deep breaths, willing himself to relax. He had a hard time believing that he'd been so incredibly excited just a few minutes ago, and now he was limp and soft. He mumbled forlornly into the pillows, "I'm really not sure I can go through with this." Joey lifted his head and gasped as Seto suddenly slipped inside, stretching him beyond what he'd thought his body capable of. Joey whimpered a little, his body gradually becoming used to the pulsing appendage embedded within him. All at once, he was aware of the warm scent of the boy behind him, and was immensely calmed by the realization he wasn't alone in this. His fierce competitive streak reared its head, and he was determined to show Kaiba that he could take anything that the CEO could dish out. After all, hadn't he promised that Joey would think it was all worth it in the end? He decided to trust in his former rival's claims and see this through to its completion. Joey managed to slow his racing thoughts and worked at matching his erratic breathing to that of the body surrounding him on the bed.

"Let your body adjust, just feel me inside...that's it." Seto gave an experimental thrust as he continued to kiss and nibble at the hot flesh of Joey's back and neck. He reached around to stroke the blond's wilted erection, and was rewarded with a sharply inhaled breath and a surge of renewed interest. As soon as his mind was distracted from the pain, Joey's muscles relaxed and Seto slid that last couple of inches inside. Both boys groaned. Seto rose back up, holding Joey by the hips and pulling back carefully. He ran his hands over the perfectly shaped ass in front of him, and thrust forward once again, gently. This movement elicited a slightly strangled groan of pain from the boy beneath. Seto frowned. Not exactly the noise he had been hoping for. He reached around to tug Joey's thighs back firmly around his own. As he pressed in once more, he lifted with both hands and shifted his angle slightly. This time, he was rewarded with a sound faintly reminiscent of a long howl. It seemed that now he'd have a whole other reason to compare Joey to a dog. This thought brought a faint smirk with it as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back in ecstasy. It was perfect - the tightness, the heat. It was just as he had imagined it. His cock surged with pleasure and he began to rock his hips in a slow, easy rhythm, enjoying the sounds of pleasure coming from the blond. He leaned forward, and licked the side of Joey's ear. His voice was husky, guttural. "Told you you'd like it."

Joey started to reply, but it morphed into a deep moan instead. When he'd recovered his wits on the next outstroke, he admonished, "Don't you ever get tired of bein' so full of yourself?"

"Not especially. Do YOU enjoy being full of me?" Joey couldn't see it, but Seto grinned madly at his own terrible joke. He felt delirious, almost as if the top of his head was about to float away on its own. He'd had a horrible moment or two where he was convinced he was still dreaming, but other than that, this was easily the best sex he'd ever had in his life. He set up a steady rhythm, striking Joey's prostate with unerring accuracy, and driving the other boy mad with unfulfilled desire.

Joey raised himself up with one hand, instinctively bringing the other to his aching member, desperate for some form of relief. The constant pounding of his prostate was the sweetest pleasure/pain he had ever experienced, and he was positive the resulting orgasm would kill him with its intensity.

Seto gruffly shoved Joey's hands away from his weeping erection. "Hands off, Mutt." Joey's cock twitched at the growled command, and he moaned even louder, burying his face in the pillows. He found himself totally getting off on Kaiba's domineering attitude, and the natural submission he instinctively displayed in response. Who knew he was so damn KINKY?

Joey hesitantly pushed his hips back against Seto's groin, and felt the brunet move with him. When he moved forward again, Seto withdrew his cock slightly and met Joey's thrust with one of his own. The impact as he rocked backwards once again left his senses reeling. "Oh GOD!"

"Enjoying yourself, are you?" Seto's voice practically dripped with arrogance. At the moment, it wasn't enough to cause Joey more than slight annoyance.

"I just can't believe how good this feels after hurtin' so much at the beginning..."

"If you think that's something, you should feel it from this end," was Seto's half coherent reply. "God, you're TIGHT."

Joey snorted. "I'm a VIRGIN, remember?"

"You sure as hell aren't one anymore," came the smug reply. Seto pushed his hips forward, continuing to stroke in and out of Joey, the tension mounting in steady increments. He parted Joey's cheeks with his hands to watch his length slide in and out of the tight hole. "Oh fuck," he groaned, realizing at that moment that it was practically all over. Seto's control was rapidly slipping; his body was locked in a desperate race with his mind. As much as he wanted this moment to last forever, he could feel an earth-shaking orgasm creeping up on him, his vision graying out a bit at the edges. He rammed his cock home with jarring force one final time, feeling Joey shudder underneath him. Seto's world went black as he came silently, harder than he ever thought possible. Collapsing over Joey, he purred against the other teen's sweaty neck, "Now it's YOUR turn." He took a moment to catch his breath before withdrawing from Joey's body and flipping him over onto his back.

Joey lay on top of the pillows, staring at the ceiling and wondering what could possibly come next. He remained unbearably aroused and had scarcely managed to resist begging for Kaiba to touch his cock again. If that were to be the case, he knew he was sadly out of luck. Right now his brain was too fried with pleasure to form a coherent sentence, much less beg for anything. Still gazing upward, he felt the remains of Kaiba's orgasm slowly leaking out of him, and he shuddered again. He'd just had sex. With Seto Kaiba. Could this day get any more bizarre? He turned his head toward the window. Correction - night. His train of thought, such as it was, was interrupted when Kaiba spread Joey's legs and buried his face in the blond's groin, slipping his hot mouth over the straining erection. Joey sat back up as if he were spring loaded. "Fuck...!"

Seto placed a hand against the other boy's chest and gave him a firm shove back down onto the bed. He sucked hard on the eager cock, feeling Joey's balls tense as he went deep, swirling his tongue around the underside. Seto reached underneath and slipped two digits back inside the blond. His fingers moved in and out with unrestricted ease, coated in the semen he had so recently left there. His own cock gave an interested lurch at this possessive thought, but his current concern was Joey's imminent release. There would be time for more fun and games later; he would make sure of it. There was no way in hell he was going to settle for a one-off when he knew first hand how amazing an experience sex with Joey Wheeler could be. If the mutt gave him any trouble about it, he'd just have to make him see reason. Maybe even with another blow job; he certainly seemed to be enjoying THIS one enough. Seto felt for Joey's prostate and agitated it mercilessly. It took one final flick of that gifted tongue, and Joey was arching off the bed, howling down the rafters as he came down Seto's throat. The brunet swallowed, giving one final lick up the still pulsing vein beneath and chuckling to himself at the other's boy's startled jerk. Spent and now exhausted, Kaiba dragged himself toward the pillows and spooned up behind Joey, not bothering to retrieve his clothes. He threw an arm over the blond's waist and mumbled, "Blankets. Now."

Still mildly stunned from his orgasm, and the fact that Kaiba had just given him head, Joey made no argument as he settled the covers over the both of them. For a moment, he thought about mentioning his loud nocturnal habits, but was afraid that being forewarned would give the other boy an excuse to leave. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he knew he didn't want that to happen just yet. Kaiba would find out on his own soon enough. For all Joey knew, the brunet snored like a buzz saw and chased butterflies in his sleep.

Seto cracked one eye and observed Joey studying him intently. He sighed tiredly. He was SO not up to dealing with this right now. He just wanted sleep. "The rusty gears turning in that big, idiotic head of yours are keeping me awake." He reached up to tug at Joey's shoulders, arranging him comfortably to his own liking. "Stop thinking and go to sleep, Mutt."

Joey snuggled back against his former rival, idly musing at how swiftly life was apparently returning to normal. He placed one hand over Seto's and immediately fell fast asleep.

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the end (or not quite?)


	8. Epilogue

Title: A Love / Hate Relationship With Spring - Epilogue

Author: WhosJeebus

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Seto/Joey

Beta: Jennie B.

Spoilers: Nuttin'

Disclaimer: Are you serious? Oh, OK. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, I just twist it around and use it for my own perverted satisfaction. Don't look at me like that. I'm not the only one. points finger You're reading this, after all.

Summary: Joey Wheeler has no shortage of reasons to hate the season of flowers, butterflies, and rebirth. Can someone unexpected give him a reason to enjoy it as well?

A/N: Review responses follow after the epilogue.

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WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES...

Seto cracked one eye and observed Joey studying him intently. He sighed tiredly. He was SO not up to dealing with this right now. He just wanted sleep. "The rusty gears turning in that big, idiotic head of yours are keeping me awake." He reached up to tug at Joey's shoulders, arranging him comfortably to his own liking. "Stop thinking and go to sleep, Mutt."

Joey snuggled back against his former rival, idly musing at how swiftly life was apparently returning to normal. He placed one hand over Seto's and immediately fell fast asleep.

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EPILOGUE:

Something felt odd. Very odd.

Seto turned his face to the side and hesitantly opened one eye. His vision was filled with a riot of burnished gold, and his arms were wrapped around something firm and warm. He blinked, realizing his face was buried in an unruly mop of soft blond hair that was tickling his nose.

His memory returned to him in a rush, and a smile crept over his sleepy features, slow and satisfied. He rolled over onto his side and gazed down at his bedmate. Joey was still sleeping peacefully, and hadn't budged an inch from where he had finally collapsed the night before. Seto swept some hair away from his lover's pale face and watched him in fascination, listening to his slow, even breathing.

He leaned down to press a kiss behind Joey's ear and tucked the sheets back around the sleeping form. He briefly curled back up against the blond when he realized that where their skin wasn't touching, he was too cold. Reluctantly, he finally pulled himself out of the comfortable, warm bed and strode over to the window. He leaned forward, one arm against the frame, and looked out on the new day. The sun, recently risen, beat down on the quiet street outside. Seto stretched languidly and smiled to himself again. It was going to be another glorious Spring day.

Retrieving his discarded clothing, he quietly dressed, bemoaning his lack of shoes. This thought brought yet another pleased smirk to his face, as his mind replayed the strange events of the previous day, culminating in the pleasurable activities of the night before. He shook his head, bemused. He couldn't go around grinning like an idiot all day. He had things he had to do.

The first and foremost being to call his limo driver to take him home. He made a brief search for the phone, and once found, Seto realized he had no idea what Joey's address was. He sighed in frustration, and slipped silently out of the bedroom. He checked all the likely places, and finally found a small pile of mail sitting on an end table. He shuffled through the letters, wryly noting that all the bills were in Joey's name. He made the call to his driver, obviously waking the man but unable to bring himself to care. His mind was already preoccupied with his schedule for the day, plans slowly taking shape in his mind. Seto's agenda included some additional first aid as one of his top priorities. His injured feet had started to throb again the moment he awoke, and he was amused to note that he had temporarily forgotten all about them. It was amazing how mind-blowing sex could cause one to ignore any number of debilitating traumas.

He waited patiently by the front window for his driver to arrive, and debated waking the apartment's still-sleeping resident. He felt strangely reluctant to slip out the door without any warning, but Seto had no idea what to say to the other boy. He felt that a little time and distance would help restore his equilibrium where Joey was concerned, and he reasoned that the blond would be likely to appreciate some recovery time as well. Seto ran his hand through his hair, unaccustomed to giving these matters so much thought. He told himself that it was simply because he recognized a lot of his own characteristics in the mutt, and he was merely reacting in a natural manner by acknowledging that perception. This obsession was sure to run its course if he were patient. In the meantime, he planned on purchasing his own copy of Mortal Kombat: Deception and practicing non-stop until he was confident he could best his opponent in a rematch. He certainly wouldn't complain if they ended up in bed again as a result.

Continuing that line of thought, he frowned as he recalled Joey's unfortunate dilemma with his employer. J. Wallace Toomey was going to have Seto's undivided attention after tomorrow's board meeting, and he was sure to leave the CEO's office a broken and humbled man. Seto was eagerly looking forward to it. He'd been longing for any kind of excuse to take down the pretentious twit, and this one had literally fallen right into his lap.As a businessman, he'd always thoroughly appreciated the efficiency involved in killing two birds with one stone.

This left Joey's financial problems still unsolved, however, and he wracked his brain for an acceptable solution to that as well. Seto himself had recently fired a caretaker and was unsure if the position had been filled as of yet. Perhaps if he were to phrase his idea the right way... He smiled ruefully to himself. Dealing with Joey Wheeler's unpredictable temperament was going to be akin to navigating across a floor covered in broken glass. He would just have to close his eyes and make a dash for it, hoping for the best. The position didn't pay all that well, but it did include free room and board on the grounds, and Seto liked the idea of having Joey close at hand. In fact, it gave him all sorts of interesting ideas. He shifted his weight restlessly and glanced toward the blond's room. He was unwilling to give his lustful thoughts free rein just yet, or he would end up back in Joey's bed, best intentions be damned.

On the street below, he saw the sleek black limousine maneuver itself to a stop at the curb in front of Joey's building, his driver stepping out to wait patiently. Seto knew the man was a professional, but even HE would be hard pressed not to show any reaction to his employer's lack of footwear and rumpled state. Seto knew he looked freshly fucked, and he didn't give a damn. He paid a lot of money for his personal staff's total discretion, and today he would get the perfect opportunity to test that high-priced loyalty.

Giving one last, longing glance at the closed bedroom door, he made his way out of the apartment, slipping the bolt behind him. He shuffled down the stairs with a lightness to his steps that hadn't been there before. He felt a little giddy and stupid, so he shot his bewildered driver a blinding smile as he sauntered out onto the sidewalk. He snidely imagined that the man must be convinced his normally reserved employer was just short of twirling madly in a circle and breaking into song. But why should he care? It was a beautiful Spring day and Seto Kaiba had big plans to make.

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the real end

except...

(There's gonna be a sequel! Woo-hoo!)

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csrg -

Wow. You are one dedicated reviewer, you know that? (hugs) I'm thrilled you like it so far, and the encouragement has been MOST welcome. (and needed!) Hearing you like the dialogue so much gives me a warm glow - it's the part that always gets written first, and the rest is just fill-in-the-blanks. I work really hard on what I want them to say, as I feel it's one of the most important parts of characterization. It's nice to know it's appreciated! LOL, I'm glad the fluff held you over for a bit. I was more than ready for that lemon myself.

markyc58 -

(laughs) I'm glad you got a kick out of my little dream sequence! And I swear to you, there was no cold medicine involved, prescription or otherwise. I'm just really that warped. No, really! I feel a little bad for the fire ants thing, but we do what's necessary to move that plot along... (snickers) I hope I didn't get you in trouble at work, but I don't feel bad for making you laugh! (hugs) The link I've mentioned earlier (which can be found under the author's info above) is to LiveJournal, and I wouldn't anticipate a problem with visiting that site at work, but just in case, I want you to feel free to email me directly, and I will send the missing chapter directly to your inbox. Provided that FanFictionDotNet decides to bust me on that M rating... Anyhoo, I'll be glad to send it your way - Now THAT's service with a smile! Here's hoping it all works out OK, and thanks for the reviews!

Hikari Raine -

So you found the "cow" thing funny? Had you ever heard it before? That's something I remember very clearly from Middle School, and damned if it doesn't WORK. Try it some time and see. Duke knows what he's talking about! Thanks for the review, and I hope you're still laughing at this point!

SetoKaibaWheeler -

Well, here's your update (technically) and thanks for the review! (hugs) Hope you enjoyed the ending!

Saikki-Dono -

Another one who's been with me since the beginning! (glomps) Thanks for hanging around and yes, "funnily" IS a word. I think. (shrugs) Oh, and thanks for not jinxing me with your mention of the dreaded writer's block (shudders) Let us never speak of it again... Hee. I'm so glad you caught onto Yami's little aside about Tea's boobs. The pharaoh's going to play a big part in the sequel and I'm planning on giving him a rather droll sense of humour. Can't have Duke and his wayward hands hogging all the spotlight, now can we?

Fox-Forbidden-Child -

It's nice to hear that you enjoyed the dream sequence so much. I've been breaking my own arm patting myself on the back for that one... (blushes) Yeah, I'm smug. I'm not proud of much, but I am particularly fond of that little tidbit. Thanks for noticing.

Kiawna -

Here's that update you were poking me for. (pokes back) As for the gum thing...internet research tells me that peanut butter works for that too! Some sites said toothpaste, but the majority claimed that PB was the way to go. Hope it helps. (hugs)

SoraandTsukasa -

(SQUEES and glomps) You thought it was beautiful? (toes ground) Aw, shucks. I'm SO glad you liked it! I put a lot of thought into those little squabbles the boys keep having, and I hope you don't find the "hook-up" too implausible. It's a simple enough thing to make the bishies fall in bed, but fall in LOVE? That's going to have to wait for the sequels, I'm afraid... If you fall down laughing again, try not to hurt yourself too badly, OK? (hugs)

Generally Maz -

Speaking of falling down laughing - OMG, your first review had me rolling! (wipes happy tear) So much said with so few words. I'm still snickering about it now. I also love the poor, clueless puppy, but hopefully he'll get his act together and assist Kaiba with his, uh...problem. (wicked grin)

Nightmare Senshi -

(blinks) Honestly, I'd probably feel bad if killed someone with my fic (you really shouldn't read the one I'm working on now, then), but I'm positively tickled that it made you laugh that hard. Thanks for the review AND the cookies! (bonus!) Hope you like lemon!

Obscured Illusions -

(nods) Humour and romance - Yep, that's what I was going for. Thanks for dropping me a line and I hope the rest of it rubbed you the right way as well. I know SOMEONE got rubbed the right way in chapter 7... (smiles innocently)

bradley -

(hugs) You seemed to find PLENTY of good words to describe how much you liked it! I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to let me know what you thought of it. If you're a hopeless romantic, then I hope chapter 7 and the epilogue didn't disappoint you TOO much. Since this fic is taking place over the course of a single wild, weird spring day, I could justify Joey and Seto falling in the sack together, but not quite falling in LOVE. Despite the development of Seto's character in chapter 6, he's still a long way from cuddly, IMHO. Hence, the sequel. I'm planning on taking the other 3 seasons of the year and using them as a background for the relationship that's being built. There will be romance aplenty eventually, but I'm gonna drag them thru the muck first, I think. (evil laugh) Oh, the ANGST! I'm writing as fast as I can...

subaruxkamui4ever -

Wow! What an awesome review! (glomps) I put a lot of thought into those word choices, and my poor thesaurus is just about to fall to pieces. I like hearing that my efforts are appreciated. I wanted to bring a definite sense of realism to this fic (yes, I KNOW it's a cartoon, but still...) so the characterization and plausibility are important factors to me. If that attitude is coming across to you, the reader, then my work here is done. Well, almost. "Spring" was written for a "first time" challenge at A Dragon's Lair, and I wanted the lemon to convey that uneasy, tentative feeling as well. First times are hardly ever remarkable, and I struggled with making it believable as well as sexy! I hope you think I've pulled it off.

Youko -

Spanks for the review! More action coming your way! I actually named an OC police detective after you in my next fic, can you believe it? Hope you don't take offense to the fact that he's kind of an idiot. (ducks)

Darkwitch17 -

This is it! This is the end! Well, almost. I might have mentioned there's an epilogue. Oh look! There it is, up there! (points up) Oh, and a sequel too! 3 of them! (laughs) I guess I just can't let this one go, huh? I'm glad you liked it, for reals.

mysticneko -

Aha! You're caught! You were only reading this far hoping for some "lemony freshness", eh? Well, your wish is my command. Did chapter meet with your approval? (winks)

izzymyster -

Hunt me down? OK, now you're all freaking me out here! (hugs) Nah, I already said how much I heart stalkers! Hope the ending didn't disappoint! (whispers) And please don't hurt me...

Mandy925892002 -

OK! OK! I will! I will! (pokes) You're hyper, you know that? Hope you enjoyed the finale, and stay tuned for the sequel!

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